Loneliness as a new contemporary lifestyle

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Avatar for kakamama
3 years ago

Man is a social being, which makes him a man. The goal of everyone's life is to find a soul mate in this world and create a new social unit with it. It sounds like an indisputable truth, but at its core is just a distorted truth. Can't a man live alone? Or he could not live alone before, but now the situation has turned to face loners? Where did the opinion that “a person needs a person” come from? The opinion is even very rational, if we consider it from the standpoint of past centuries. No matter how much we would separate ourselves from the animal world, the ancient human instincts will always laugh in response.

The main instinct, the one that rules over all others, is the survival instinct of both the species and the individual. A man needs a man ... to survive? Let's go back to prehistoric times. The first thing that comes to mind is hunting a mammoth (and it comes to mind correctly, because food is an important factor for the survival of a primitive man).

Do you think it's easy to "fill up" such a colossus ?! In this matter, only a well-coordinated team could cope, and then half of the participants in the hunt did not return from the "game".   And this fact prompts the next factor - life expectancy. That is, not only is it not so easy to get food (this is not a pizza to order at home!), But also the life expectancy is up to 25 years. How can you not think about what you will leave behind? Or rather, here the survival instinct of the species is turned on to its fullest and gradually pushes society towards a family model.

In the Middle Ages, there was a high mortality rate due to war, disease and hunger. The survival instinct analyzed all this, calculated and “promoted” the family as the main value of society and, in general, is right. It was difficult to survive in those conditions, and therefore "extra hands" were not so much unnecessary, but vital.

Therefore, it was normal to have up to 15 children in a family. This, by the way, is the answer to the question: "Why do the Chinese have such large families" - until recently, their social conditions demanded it. Moreover, the mentality of the people was influenced by the culture that it is customary to grow. An experiment was carried out in two Korean neighboring villages, in one from which wheat was grown in the other - barley. As a result of the experiment, it turned out that the level of collective cohesion is much higher in the "barley" village, since it is impossible to grow this culture alone. What can not be said about wheat: caring for it does not require a large number of people. Now you understand why the Slavs have a "house on the edge" ?! 

But what do we see now? We do not need to gather in groups to get food for ourselves (except to use this food in good company) or to help the family with work (again, picking potatoes from grandmother in the country does not count - there, you perfectly understand a Chinese large family).

This means that social contacts have ceased to perform a vital function, but have passed into a mental function. Is complete loneliness impossible in the modern world? I think the first question of every familiar and unfamiliar relative to you sounds like "Well, do you have someone?" And this is really a trend of thinking in the family circle. After all, even our compliments sound: "Well, quite a bride!" or "Look, what kind of groom will grow up!" It turns out that our society is programming a compass of achievements for marriage. And what will happen if Mendelssohn don’t let you, you don’t have a pair by the age of thirty? Everything, the stigma of a person who has not achieved anything in this life. But what hopes they pinned!

Unfortunately, society mistakenly attributes the need for social contact to the need for marriage. But social contacts are not only married life, they are friends, colleagues, clients (if you have your own business), fans (if such are the case).  In today's world, where there is no escape from information and communication on social networks, no one will ever be alone. This is not the beginning of the 20th century, where, hiding in a mansion, one can live, as it were, in a parallel world without people (and servants were not particularly considered people then). Now being all the time in your "bachelor's" apartment, you can work, and communicate with friends around the world, and study, and much more.

Not to mention the fact that no bunker will hide from sales managers!  This does not take away the fact that every person needs "live" communication, but it seems to me that in this stream of non-stop information people began to look for silence. Solo life - protest to society There is always a counterculture for every culture. Life on social media has taken over people so much that it sometimes goes beyond reason. Each of us, every second, seems to have a hand on the pulse of the information flow (or rather a finger on the phone's sensor).

We constantly want to be in the stream of public opinion, afraid of missing out on all sorts of mainstreams, or simply worrying that some information will pass us by. Even if you don’t want to be a slave to social networks and instant messengers, you cannot refuse them, since all important information on studies, work, your child’s kindergarten, your cat’s hairdresser comes in the form of text messages.

Didn't check the messages for at least half a day - I didn't find out about the cardinal changes in plans for my day. “Be alone, it is the secret of invention; be alone, only in it ideas are born. Most people are so absorbed in the outside world that they completely do not notice what is happening inside them "Nikola Tesla We think that by disconnecting from the connection, we will lose important information, but in reality this is not so. The really important information is stored inside us, what happens outside is just external noise.

Think about all your many correspondences: how many truly interesting and informative dialogues there are. How often do you discuss such important topics as "finding yourself", "the meaning of life", "the right to choose" and much more. It's quite difficult to discuss such issues with the help of emoticons and stickers, don't you think?  Our society is totally focused on the number: friends, love relationships, subscribers, likes. In the understanding of many people, "more" symbolizes "better." Therefore, it is not surprising that people appear who are sickened by such reasoning. Those who believe that it is necessary to live not "not in breadth, but in depth." 



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