Late Nights That We Are Not Looking For - A Party Or A Goodbye?

There is nothing I respect more than the pain of a loss. When someone dies there are people who cry because of the pain of loss, and even if the person is not a relative or friend, I respect the mourning of others, because for me that is something delicate.

There is nothing that bothers me more than a gossip after someone's death, those who find out instead of feeling the loss of others and letting them live their pain or support, they only come to ask: How did it happen, when did he die, how did he die, but what did he have if he was young? and etc, etc 🙄 Oh my God, no respect! It is as if no one could ever die to them and even themselves.

A few months ago I couldn't stand this kind of people anymore and I gave a girl I know "unemployed", as we say in Venezuela, my surnames and nationalities got in the way, and the fact is that a young cousin of my husband just passed away and she wrote to me, instead of offering her condolences or simply not saying anything, to say the following: Oh, little man, and how did it happen? Where was she then? Was she covid? Tell me, curiosity kills me . Just like that and that caused me so much annoyance that I told her that she should have respect, I scolded her and she stopped writing.

When my father-in-law passed away two months ago, she didn't write to me, just to offer her condolences, but she didn't have the same attitude and I saw, that either she changed only with me or actually telling her made her reflect on her attitude. Before gossip, there must be respect for the pain of others.

In recent weeks, my neighbor across the street, the man who used to bathe in shorts on the street, was sick, to the point of getting so bad, that unfortunate on Sunday to dawn Monday he died. During these days and despite him living alone for so many years, I realized that he was very loved not only by his family, but even more so by his neighbors.

Out of respect and as my little autistic daughter has a habit of screaming with excitement if she sees a lot of people, I closed doors and windows, as there is a cool weather we could be indoors, so out of RESPECT I closed everything, kept the children in silence, but unfortunately we do not receive the same.

Here in Ecuador, people from the middle and lower classes have the custom of keeping vigil over their dead in their homes, renting awnings, chairs and musicians, who sing only 30 minutes from 9:00 PM to 9:30 PM. In addition to this, in the wakes, when it is night, they serve lunch-type meals for all who arrive, for which many take the opportunity to go to eat.

With my neighbor it was not going to be the exception, but stranger things happened. The funeral home arrived that same morning on Monday, placing the awnings at 1 AM and forcefully threw the tubes to the floor to lower them from the car that was transporting him. This noise that lasted approximately two hours while they were setting up did not let us sleep, but we understood that it was the funeral home and well, it is a man who has passed away.

Ammy and Josué went to school and work respectively, all out of night. Last night, Tuesday, the musicians arrived and began to sing at full volume precisely at 10 PM when my daughters were already asleep, Joaquín was still awake. However, he is a wake, let's be understandable.

But my big one is this, the music was playing at full volume, with the horns pointing towards my house, until 2 AM, yes 2 AM. A single song was dedicated to the man who passed away, the rest were songs like "Bésame" by Ricardo Montaner and "17 años", a drunkenness on the part of the attendees, laughter and scandals.

My son was able to fall asleep at 1 in the morning, while my husband and I could not sleep, because although the music ended at 2 AM, the noise of the people continued until 5 AM. A quinceañera party is quieter than the scandal these people had last night.

It was really quite an annoying situation, us respecting their mourning, but they had a party and did not respect the dreams of others at all and that there are people who work, children who study. I understand the pain, but what a way to show that the Lord hurts, although I do not judge it, however they could have lowered the volume or played the music earlier and for less time.

Perhaps you that Lee disagree with me and say that there are many ways to express pain and I agree with that, but at what price? Today I have a headache that not even a pill or coffee has calmed me and it's because of the late night I have. Likewise, my husband and the children, in the case of my husband but, well, he had to go to work.

As a reflection, I consider that one may be going through this situation, but however strong it may be, we should not only think of ourselves, but also of others, just as they consider us, we must be considerate and the fact that we go through mourning or a difficult situation, does not give us the right to be disrespectful to others.

I really regret the loss of this man, who more than bathing almost naked in front of my house, never messed with us, he always smiled and did not make a noise, much less the scandal his family made. People are celebrated in life, because after death, the party is only for those who remain.

And as I said at the beginning, there is nothing that I respect more than mourning after the loss of another human being.