Telling someone you love them was never an easy thing to do, it's like an accidental wound that won't hurt until you notice it. For some people, it may be an easy task, but if you think about it more there are thousands of possibilities as a result of your confession.
It could be a rejection, or maybe they'll love you back.
If you think loving your best friend is much easier since you already know a lot about them, and you're supposed to know what their feelings towards you would be.
But for Joshua Hong, it's the complete opposite.
Loving you was the hardest thing he's ever done, despite being friends for the longest time and spent half of those years of friendship hiding his feelings from you was torture to him.
What he didn't know was that you felt the same. How could you not? having him with you felt like everything you need was there with you as well, you were supposed to tell him way back then, and you should have because now he's much busier than he was before and he's got an army of fangirls trailing behind him
And now you might have to leave him soon, so that's why you're waiting in an empty coffee shop for him. You told him you wanted to tell him something important and he said he had something to tell you as well.
He entered the room with a smile that widened when he spotted you. He sat down the empty set in front of you.
"So, what's the thing you wanted to tell me?" He asked with a grin still on his face.
"I..." You inhaled deeply before continuing. "I'm being promoted."
"That's great-" you quickly cut him off
"But I'm my workplace won't be here anymore." He turned silent and his smile slowly faltered.
"What do you mean?" He asked with a hushed voice.
"I have to move, it might be a bit far b-but I promise to visit." The silence continued. You played with the end of your shirt nervously as you waited for him to say something.
"For the first time in ten years, we're going to be apart." he scoffed, he looked down but you noticed a sad smile creeping up to his lips. "I'm happy for you."
"You are?" He looked at you as if you were crazy.
"Of course, what kind of best friend would I be if I wasn't?" You returned the smile to him, "You promise to call?" You nod. "And visit at least once a month, or maybe once every two months?"
"Of course I will." You said. "You had something to tell me too right?"
He froze, is it alright if he tells you now?
"I...."
No, not now.
"....forget it, it's not as important." He shrugged it off, and let another smile cover up his emotions before offering you the menu "Shall we order?"
Despite putting on a smile on his place his heart crumbled into a million pieces. He just lost the chance to tell you for the millionth time, he just hoped this isn't the last chance to confess he's ever going to get.
The day you left, he couldn't give you a proper goodbye because of his schedule, although he gave you a call and made sure you were ready and didn't leave anything important behind.
"Shua? How did the confession go?" Jeonghan approached him with a cheeky grin. "I haven't been able to ask you about it but you've been spending more time with her. Did you finally get together?"
"It didn't happen." Joshua sighed. "I'm spending time with her because she was relocated for her job."
"Wha-" Jeonghan started but he was cut off.
"It's fine, I'll wait."
"You've been waiting for years," Jeonghan says. "You need to tell her." Jeonghan patted him on the back before walking away and leaving him with his thoughts.
----
Three months passed and you finally had the chance to visit him again, you both planned to take a walk around and catch up with each other.
"Your hair looks good." You complimented him as you walked along the part with ice cream in your hands. "But every color looks good on you so..."
"You should try coloring your hair too." He suggested, "Is it allowed at work?"
"Oh, no. not allowed." You scooped some of your ice cream and ate it before continuing. "I was a week in when this girl colored her hair blue, which was very bright and she needed to color it back to brown the very next day."
"I guess she was new as well. I hope her hair didn't get damaged too much." He winced, "Did you miss me?" He added with a cheeky grin.
"Pfft, no I enjoyed not having you around." You teased, "I get bored of your face."
He dramatically placed his hand on his chest and faked a gasp. "I thought you loved me." he pouted.
"Drama queen." You rolled your eyes at him. "You know I love you very much."
Joshua's heart pounded inside his chest at hearing your words, he remembered what Jeonghan said before, he needed to do something.
Is it the right time to tell you?
He stared as you turned to him with a bright smile, the words coming out of your mouth were nothing but muffled sounds in his ear because he was too busy admiring how undeniably perfect you were.
And he would hate to ruin the moment just because he suddenly blurts out his feelings that he's been bottling up for the longest time.
Not now.
His eyes widened as his feet got hooked between some rocks, making him trip and fall.
"What the hell.." He mumbled.
"A-are you okay?" You managed to say between you laughs, "The look on your face was hilarious!" You helped him stand and brush himself off.
"You're happy seeing me suffer." He tried his best to look hurt but laughter escaped his lips as well.
"Are you hurt anywhere?" You fixed his blown away hair as you asked.
"No, my ice cream fell though." You looked at the ice cream cup on the ground before picking it up and throwing it to the nearest bin. "Can I have some of yours?"
"Noooo!" You stretched your arm away from his reach. "You were nearly done with yours anyways."
You laughed at the visible disappointment on his face, you quickly finished yours before throwing the cup away.
"I won't be able to visit for the next five months, I have to attend more conferences now..." You said apologetically.
"That's cool, just keep me updated." He said, denying the fact that he was not okay with not seeing you for that long.
"I always keep you updated, how are the boys doing?" His eyes lit up, you always noticed how excited he gets when he talks about his group members, even if he talks about how childish they could be he still has a smile on his face while telling you about it.
"They're doing fine, everyone's working hard."
"That's good, make sure everyone's not pushing themselves too hard." You said with a firm voice, being friends with Joshua also meant being close to the other members. Some said you were like a mother to them because of your constant concern to all of the members, and Joshua admired you even more for that.
"Do you really have to leave today?" He sighed. "Perhaps you can stay for a couple more days?"
"You know I can't, I still have three-hour to my apartment." You said apologetically. "I promise to stay longer next time though."
"Fine." He said flatly, hinting that he wasn't pleased about it, he let out a deep breath before looking up the sky and said: "I'm gonna miss you."
"I'll miss you too but it's not like this is the last time we'll see each other, right?" You asked him for confirmation. He looked back down at you before smiling at you.
"Of course." He answered, you slowly put your arms around him and hugged him, you breathed in his scent to calm your pounding heart. "I'm still not used to being unable to see you almost every day."
"Me too." You mumbled against his shirt.
"Y/n?" Joshua swallowed the lump on his throat, you hummed against his shirt as a reply, "I need to tell you something I should have told you way back then."
You pulled away a little to look at him properly but remained gripping his shirt, he looked at you nervously before continuing.
"I fell in love with someone."
With those six words alone, your whole world stopped.
"Oh." was the only thing that came out of your mouth.
"But I'm afraid she doesn't feel the same." He said softly.
"Of course she'd feel the same, who wouldn't fall in love with Joshua Hong?" You croaked out, you could already feel the tears building up in your eyes. "If she doesn't feel the same way then it's her fault for not seeing how precious the person she let go was."
"...Are you crying?" He asked worriedly when tears started to fall from your eyes.
"No. I'm just really happy for you." You couldn't stop the tears from falling anymore so you just let yourself cry in front of him, he pulled you back into a hug and let out a laugh. "Don't laugh at me."
"It's you."
"What?"
"It's you, you idiot." You froze in his arms.
"If you're messing with me I'm going to smack you." You threatened him, "Are you sure?"
"I've been sure since day one," Joshua says. "So do you feel the same or..?"
"Of course I do," you let out a shaky laugh.
"Are you sure?" He asked with a teasing voice.
"Since day one."