I just respect them, not to judge them being a stay-at-home mom, not knowing that most of the time their work is never-ending. It is a lifetime job. Instead of judging them, we must respect them for their greatness.
Many things that we need to be considered in our marriage life when it comes to planning for a family. There finance adjustments, dividing the tasks of doing household chores, buying their assets, and many more.
In times of having children, taking care of them is a big challenge, especially when both parents are working. Some of them find a nanny and some of them are decided to give up their career for the safety and security of their children. Nowadays, finding a good and responsible nanny was so hard. In these circumstances, the decision-making will come, it is the process of making choices/options to solve their problems. It's not bad that one of you will decide to give up the career just because you want to secure your child's sake.
How difficult being a stay-at-home parent?
If you are one of a stay-at-home parent you should be thankful and happy watching your kids learn, develop, and grow and well-adjusted adults. Yet there are many problems that stay-at-home mom will be facing.
Yes! I'm one of them, I decided to become a stay-at-home mom when I was 25, I am a fresh graduate when I got pregnant. I had graduated with my two courses which are a 2-year computer secretarial and a bachelor of elementary education. But until now I wasn't able to fulfill my dreams. I chose my family over my career. At that time, my husband and I were decided that one of us must stay at home to take care of our baby. He didn't want a "Yaya". It is a big challenge for me and my husband because this is unplanned. All we know was to protect and secure our baby's lives. We don't know what the future will bring to us. I have no relatives whom can I trust with, to take care of our baby. I can't trust my baby's lives to anyone else as I've always heard in the news that most of them are abusive to their foster child. So, I decided to stay because I felt that my daughter needs me. My husbands and I support each other's decisions for good.
Challenges of being a stay-at-home parent
If you think being a stay at home mom is so easy, why don't you do it?... Exactly!!!
It's hard for me to be a stay at home mom. As time goes by we had faced many challenges and by God's mercy we've overcome it.
Here are some Emotional challenges of being a stay-at-home parent:
Lack of accomplishments.
Feeling of lack of accomplishment, I no longer feel the sense of accomplishment. That feeling of being useless! Instead of feeling accomplished by mothering, it takes a lot out of me.
"Endless days in which every single task is immediately undone or needs to be repeated within hours can be soul-sucking when you are used to overseeing projects with a very tangible and rewarding result," says Emily, 49, a mother of a 10-year-old and a 5-year-old.
Feeling lonely and bored.
"Stay-at-home parenthood can be so isolating," says Rochelle, 32, mother to a 15-year-old and a 9-year-old. "[When they were babies,] I was so used to just doing groceries and diapers and dishes that whatever social instinct I had previously atrophied completely."
Questioning your parenting decisions.
"Am I even doing this right?" I have often fantasized that a woman who knows what she's doing would come in and fix all of my mothering mistakes.Why can't I just finish one thing.
I'm always juggling way too much stuff. I'm always frustrate doing household stuff. I feel so alone all along in this kind of battle.
The Advantages and Disadvantages of Stay-at-home parents
Are you trying to decide whether to be a stay-at-home parent or not?
Advantages of being a stay-at-home parents
Lower cost.
Stay-at-home parents have an option to work and earn at home. It's also less expensive for one parent to stay home rather than it would be to pay for the childcare.
Control your kid's development
Letting your kid's nannies be in charge of their daily life limits your level of control over your children's learning, growth, and development. Stay-at-home parents control their child's daily activities, supervision, and nurturing.
Less stress for the kids.
Being a stay-at-home parent is an amount of stress for the kids.
Disadvantages of being a stay-at-home parent
Loss of identity for the parent.
Some of the parents keep on focusing on their career over a family that is why they might feel a loss of identity by becoming a stay at home parent. Stay at home parent can prevent this depressing feeling by channeling their passion for parenting and hobbies and even work from home jobs. They forgot about the importance of parenting for their too much dedication and passion for their careers.
Lack of socialization opportunities for their children.
Some parents, especially those who are in a rich family they decided not to send their kids to school where they can socialize with other children. Socialization techniques learned during early play and daycare experiences-problem solving, friendship, playing with others, sharing, etc.,
Less socialization for the parents.
Being a stay at home mom means having less socialization with other adults.
These are the things that we realized after a big challenge for us:
The working hours of the stay-at-home parent are longer than the working hours of an employee in a company.
Being a stay-at-home parent needs 24/7 attention while being an employee in a company that spent almost 40 hours in a week. We have no vacation leave or sick leave, you have no salary or bonuses even the 13th-month pay. You will just have money if your husband turns over his money every 15 days of his half month salary or if you have extra work like work from home set up.
More tiring when you're at home.
Most of them, assumed that when you're at home, life is easy, life is good, and you're not doing anything, but not true.
Aside from taking care of your children, you do household chores every day such as cooking, laundry, cleaning the house, ironing clothes, and many many more.
There is also the occasional mess of your child.
You can't eat your comfort food freely.
Being too busy can skip your meal. It is because your child always demands. Your child will always be your prior.
Your social life will be reduced.
Being a stay-at-home mom, your communication and socialization with your friend will be lessened. Good thing, using the internet might your chance to communicate with them.
Nowadays, it is not enough that only one of you is working in the family. Two is better than one.
Both of you must have a source of income. Bill payments and continuous high prices of goods are enough reasons for both of us work hard. It is very hard for having a breadwinner in the family if his/her salary is on minimum wage. When our child growing up, your expenses also grow up. Also, add emergency expenses such as drug purchase and check-up whenever one of them is sick, tuition fees in school, and things that need to buy at home.
Things that I learned being a stay-at-home parent:
I learned to be contented in life.
Being a stay-at-home mom was changed my viewpoint in life. Our lives become simpler because we learn how to budget our money and I'm happier now to get along with my daughter. We have learned to prior the needs over wants.
I became closer to my daughter and I have enough time to spent with her. I got to know her better. I meet her needs. I've always there for her, watch her and play along with her. Guide her in studies and I always attend her event in school. On Saturdays and Sundays are our family days.
I always maximize my time at home.
I have a daily routine every day and if I have free time I'm writing an article.
I became more respectful and understanding to all housewives and even in maids out there. I had experienced the hardships of being a stay-at-home mom, I must admire them because of their being a dedicated and strong woman. Now, I understand why my mother taught me and my siblings doing all the household chores. What we don't know, it's just training for the real-life will be facing when the time comes that we will be having families of our own.
I became more familiar with myself ("the real-me").
I became more matured enough as a homemaker. I had discovered a new skill. It's not easy at all but for me being a stay-at-home parent is priceless.
