Someone in my head

"Story of my experience

It was like there was someone inside my brain.

It started as if someone else was speaking in my brain when my first child died.

I don't know what to do with my lost son. I just shut up and cried and cried in the room until I heard someone else talking even though I was the only one. Saying that I have followed my son because my life is worthless I hear again and again as if recorded, until I fall asleep, I woke up at night when my husband woke me up to eat and as if someone was talking to my brain shouldn't eat that because my life doesn't matter anymore. But my husband forced me to eat and when we were at the table I could hear the voice in my head again that I should take the knife and stab it in my chest, I didn't know I was holding the knife, my husband shouted When he shouted, I let go of the knife and I cried and cried. Nothing came out of my mouth. Not a word came out of my mouth. I couldn't eat. I went across the room. My husband talked to me about what was happening to me, I told him that it was as if someone else in my head was ordering me to do that and he told us to see the doctor I didn't agree and I shouted loudly I wasn't mad to go to the doctor, my husband didn't force me anymore.

Every day I hear the voice in my brain over and over again

I can't sleep anymore, I can't eat well, my husband can't talk to me anymore because I'm just thundering in the room and crying. I've been like that for a few months.

Until one day I cried out as loud as I could. My husband came into our room. My husband was surprised by what I was doing, I banged my head on the wall of the room.

My husband wanted to take me to the doctor but I didn't agree. I told him I didn't want to go to the hospital because I remembered our son's hardship.

What I said is that I want us to go home to our house there, there are a lot of people and my whole family there because our relatives' houses are almost next to each other.

My husband left work first to go home with me.

The next day we went home and there I told my family what was happening. My brother told me that I might have anxiety or depression because of my son's death.

While we were at home, the voice I could hear gradually disappeared until it disappeared completely. When it was because of the help of my family and my husband that I overcame the struggle in my life.

Anxiety/ depression is not a joke

It can be harmful, it can cause death to a person if not alerted.

So I thanked my family for not leaving me until the end.

Thanks for reading my experience.

Sorry for the grammar