The Courage of Imperfection

Are you afraid of admitting mistakes and failures?

Why is it so hard, when we have really blown it, to take responsibility for our actions: to tell the truth and make a simple apology? Might some of our resistance to telling the truth stem back to our childhood inability to explain ourselves? Does blowing it as an adult tap into our old anxiety of feeling humiliated by a finger pointing parent?

We reflexively cover up to avoid the blow to our pride that comes from acknowledging our imperfections. We try to shield ourselves from the logical consequences of our actions. By making up an excuse or blaming an outside source, we create the illusion that the world-not us- needs correction. Surely there must be a better strategy for handling our mess-ups than disavowing them! Maybe we can learn to accept and process our occasional mistakes as a normal part of living.

When confronted with awareness that we've blown it, we can practice the courage of imperfection. This means replacing our kneejerk reflexes of rationalizing and blaming with fundamental honesty. We learn freely admit our errors and take responsibility for our inevitable shortcomings.

Authentic guilt is an important ingredients of mental and spiritual health. Guilt is like the smoke alarm in your house. When your smoke alarm is triggered, you don't try to stop it immediately, but rather search for the source of the smoke. You want to find out if there is a fire tht needs dousing.

Guilt is a healthy emotion that is evoked when we've harmed someone or been untrue to ourselves . Shame over mistake is an orienting response, arousing us to take responsibly to make things right. When we turn a deaf ear to guilt, we diminish our vitality. Unresolved guilt dampens other emotions such as joy, love and happiness.

So when you blown it, concentrate on the feeling of guilt for three full minutes. No need to be morbid or condemn yourself forever. Remember the courage of imperfection and the smoke alarm. Just feel guilt, and when you are done, make a conscious decision to apologize and, if called for, make amends as soon as possible.

When we've blown it, our imperfections temporarily show through. But as soon as we've faced our mistakes, felt our guilt and made amends the liberty presence of Gods grace is there to comfort us.

We know tht we are doing the best we can with what we've got. We accept that while our feet are made of clay our spirits can still soar