@jasglaybam 14 July 2021 more from that month

Mahirap maging nanay

When I was in my early 20's, I told myself that I will adopt children from different nationalities or I will have a one-night stand with a stranger during my ovulation period... If I won't be having kids. Desperada na ako, nakakaloka but I unexpectedly became pregnant at 28. The guy said he wasn't ready so I didn't insist on sharing the responsibility. I went through pregnancy alone most of the time but I was able to survive it with my Mama and elder sister's help. I also worked at 247 at that time so I was kind of okay. Nanganak ako sa Fabella, sobrang hirap pero dahil kailangan magtiis para sa bata ay kinaya ko. Iba pala pagnanay ka na, para ka nang superhero. Having a little, helpless human being is quite scary, however, a child's kiss, smile, and embrace are priceless. Worth it yung sleepless nights, the unending body aches, those scars after the operation, and ugly stretch marks. But why do I feel guilty when I take a rest? Why do mothers feel this? I know I can never take care of my kids if I am not well. Self-love is important, but why do I feel guilty when I take a few minutes to chill and relax? Mothers should take a rest, read books, dance, and listen to music. We should replenish our souls so we can share them with our kids. Was it because of how society programmed us, that mothers should be with their kids all the time despite the exhaustion? **I remember last Mother's Day, I smiled because I was able to comb my hair, which I cannot do during normal days. Sometimes, nakalaylay na yung shorts ko showing my panty or yung line ng pwet ko.** **H**ow can I balance my time with my 2 kids? My partner? Most of the time my eldest is either watching Youtube kids or TV, sometimes she is just playing Roblox. Nakakakonsensya. I wanted to play with her but my 1-year-old is demanding. (By the way, I finally found a mabait boyfriend na si Kuya J and we have a kid. Saoirse.) I really wanted to just be the super mom and the lover that my partner dreamt of. How how de carabao nga ba? How do you guys juggle the time between your partner, your kids, and yourself? *I will be improving my page soon and I appreciate your time in reading, commenting, and updating my articles. Please don't give up on me.*