I don't trust Him
I am afraid of what he was going to do
I am afraid of what will happen every day.
Every day I live in fear
What will happen to me if I step out of this room
How can I trust Him?
How can I trust the one who took my father away?
How can I trust the one who turned my mother to become an alcoholic?
How can I trust the one you called God who put me in this house of evil?
Where people are demons!
They raped me.
They abused me.
They ruined my life!
But why did God let this happen to me?
Now tell me how can I trust Him?!
Want to know the story?
Listen and I will speak.
When God took my father's life
Our family became miserable.
My mother didn't stop drinking alcohol
And didn't mind me at all.
She sold all lur belongings,
Even me her own daughter
Was sold to a drug dealer
Just to be his sex slave.
But why did God do this to me?
I would hide and pray to God to help me
But He never did.
I think He's nowhere and He really don't care.
You! You! All of you!
You u call Him Almighty!
You call Him powerful!
But where is He when I need Him most?
Where is He when I am shouting His name
Asking for help?
Do you know where?
As week passes by I am alone
Embracing the cold breeze during the night
I am hungry and thirsty for almost two days
But no one helped me even God.
I was walking down the street
When I met someone
Who told me that whatever
I experience is written on God's plan
I looked at him and asked,
Why me? Haha!
Of all people here on earth
Why did I experienced being raped and abused?
If it is His plan, why did He let me suffer?
I looked at him once again
Why me?
He embraces me
And at that moment
I feel I am safe and secured
I closed my eyes and
Enjoyed the moment
But when I opened my eyes
I realised that I was the only one
Standing in the middle of the street
I looked up at the night sky
And whispered,
God if You are really true
Thank you for sending some one
Who made me realize
That life is all about trusting You.
Please show me the way where can I journey and find my way back home.