Since the time this pandemic has assumed control over my life, I have been feeling something. It's difficult to communicate what it truly is. It resembles I am exhausted, miserable, desolate, confounded, restless yet at the same time cheerful, solid, confident, energized simultaneously. That is a great deal of affections for one individual.
This pandemic has been overpowering however there's something beneficial that has happened to me.
I have figured out how to adore myself.
How could I do this? By permitting myself to give up. I have surrendered those things that were keeping me down. I don't loathe myself any longer. This is totally astounding to me in light of the fact that practically for my entire life, I have been at battle with myself.
Adoring yourself is a progressive demonstration
It doesn't make any difference how tall/short/slight/fat/smart/dumb/fruitful/ineffective you are, adoring ourselves isn't simple in this advanced society. Each time you go on the web, you'll be publicized an item that will you make a superior variant of yourself. These advertisements will advise you that you won't ever be adequate. You will consistently have something defective about you.
Individuals who don't let any of this influence them are superhumans, as I would like to think. I have never felt that I was adequately smart or really. However, something has changed in the course of the most recent couple of months. To boast, I think I am cutting to the chase where these patterns don't influence me any longer.
I have relinquished things that don't bring me satisfaction. I telecommute so I will wear agreeable nightgown the entire day which are undeniably more agreeable than any pants out there on the planet. Since it's truly hot at the present time, I tie my hair in two interlaces, similar to I used to when I was a kid. I haven't shaved any piece of my body in longer than a year so I look like a child bear at this moment.
I have also let go of control. I eat whatever I want whenever I want. Earlier I used to follow ‘clean eating’ which basically means I only allowed myself to eat ‘good foods’ and once a week, I allowed myself a ‘cheat meal’. I have put all of these terms in commas because there are no such things as good foods and cheat meals. Eating like this resulted in me actually having a slow metabolism and an unhealthy relationship with food. If you want to know more about this, I’d let a nutrition expert explain why eating like this isn’t sustainable.
Eating like this made my life miserable for years. Now I eat whatever I want, whenever I want. Surprisingly, this didn’t make me gain weight at all. In fact, I lost weight because I no longer crave junk food all the time. I eat a balanced diet and workout because I enjoy it, not because I am trying to look like someone’s definition of beauty.
You wouldn’t have caught me like this before the pandemic. But then one day, I woke up and stopped caring about everything in this world. Hey, this virus might kill me and if it doesn’t, there’s global warming standing with a sword hanging over our heads. If I am going to die in a few years, I might as well live a little bit before that.
I am learning to be vulnerable
I think being vulnerable is important for self-love but it’s something I have never been comfortable with. I don’t like talking about myself. I am a private person but I am also an extrovert at the same time. This is a complicated situation because I love meeting new people and talking their ears off. So, if you ever meet me in real life, I’ll tell you about my favorite movie and the kind of food I like to eat. But if you ask me the last time I cried, I’ll be lost for words.
But now I am learning to be vulnerable because there’s no point in acting like I am perfect all the time. The world would be a much better place if all of us were a little more honest about our struggles.
So when was the last time I cried? When I found out that someone very close to me died of corona. This person was my father’s best friend and he treated me like his own daughter. He was my father’s age which makes me feel even worse. What if it’s my father the next time? I can’t even imagine.
It is safe to say that you resemble me?
I understand that how I am feeling right currently is most likely something a many individuals are feeling at present. Everything is changing and we don't know how the world will look even fourteen days from now. Will I actually have some work? Will every one of my loved ones actually be sound? Will my nation declare more limitations?
On the off chance that I proceed to overthink about these things, I'll never be glad throughout everyday life. This is the reason I have released everything and I am just embracing the here and now. What's more, this has caused me to foster a profound esteem for myself. Cherishing myself is the manner by which I am remaining normal. I think adoring myself is the best way to remain normal at the present time.
