You're Better Than This.
It is a fact that there are some children who are raised in the ideal family. They have all their needs met, they are given ample opportunities to develop into successful adults, and they are taught important values that will guide them through adulthood. It is also true that there are many families where parents feel inadequate when compared with other parents around them. While this may not be entirely true, it is very easy to fall into comparison mode and think we could do better than we're doing right now.
In fact, parenting skills are not uniform, they differ by race, income, education and religious beliefs. One of the best ways to know if you are an ideal parent, or if you need some help is to ask yourself if you are willing to accept the truth about yourself. The answer to that question will give you an idea if you are at the very least average and perhaps even sub-par.
There are times when I'm parenting, and I tell myself, "You're better than this." I know that the best parent is a kind and gentle one. I know I have had some good moments, and some not-so-good moments. There have been many times when my behavior has been worse than I know I should have been. As I've grown as a parent, I have to remind myself that I'm never perfect. It's all about learning and improving.
Don't Compare
Instead of comparing ourselves to other parents, or even worse, to our own children, we should compare our children to other children. Our children are unique in their own ways, and it's important to remember that. A parent is never perfect; the key to being a great parent is the patience and willingness to learn.
I want you to teach your child to be courageous. When your child gets a new pair of roller skates for their birthday, or plays a new game on the Wii, I want you to teach them that they're brave for trying something new. If your child wants to learn to ride a bike or play guitar, they're courageous, and they have a right to try.
There will be days when your child learns a new skill and doesn't want to try it because it's too scary, or they're afraid they'll get hurt. Don't worry, because there will be plenty of days to come when they'll want to try it again. Your job is to show them that it was a mistake to try it the first time, but that there are many other days to come to get better and practice on it.
How To Avoid Saying Yes And No
It's your job to build them into confident kids that aren't scared of challenging themselves. Let your child learn through their mistakes and never say "No" if they want to learn something.
The fact that you don't always want to let your child try something is fine. I want you to be a courageous parent, to teach them that even if you don't want them to learn something, they're brave for trying it, and that there will be many other times to try it.
I want you to teach them that life is more than winning and losing. It's about learning lessons, it's about being willing to try, and it's about perseverance. In life, we are all given the same trials, which makes it so that as a parent we are the best we can be in helping our kids cope with the hard things. They will be given hard times, but they will be faced with many more hard things in their lives. Teach them to overcome it.
As a parent, you're your child's most powerful teacher. You are the most influential parent in the entire world. The way you treat your kids will not only shape their future, but it will shape yours. It's your job to teach your kids how to love, how to lose, how to learn from the loss, and how to persevere.
Your kids should know that anything is possible. This will help them when the chips are down and they don't know what to do. Teach them to never give up and that when things look like they're going to be over, that they have to fight for every last minute they have.
