She was brought to the hospital because of her condition deteriorating. We're not losing hope despite the negativity from others saying her life won't take longer. A day after her stay in the ordinary hospital room, she was transferred to the ICU after a mild stroke. She's unaware of what happened. It might be her pain tolerance has gone high, and even her memory is waning. Lack of oxygen on the brain, maybe? It was Friday when she was transferred to the ICU.
On her X-ray result, one of her lungs can't hardly be seen. That might be one of the reasons causing her difficulty of breathing. The doctor recommended a procedure to remove the excess fluids in her lungs, which a large syringe will be used. We as a family, talked about it and made a consensus to agree with the procedure, and my sister signed the consent form.
During Saturday, some relatives and family friends came in. A schedule was made who will watch over my mother at the ICU, so each of us will have rest too. Thay evening, the procedure was done right at the ICU. I don't want to see how it was done but it was suggested that each of us will go inside one by one to give her strength while the procedure was done. I went inside and I almost cried seeing her how she looks at me.
After the procedure, my older sister told me to go home with them so I can have a rest, and I'll bring my other siblings their food, and I can attend our meetings in sign language in the city. We live in Lingayen, and the hospital is in Dagupan City because there's no decent hospital in our town at that time.
It was Sunday, I watched over my mother the entire afternoon. No one's with me, and my mom has been sleeping most of the time. It's been 14 years ago so we don't have the Android phones yet, and I'm using a Nokia phone with colored screen, and can be used for browsing the internet. It became a past time while waiting for my mother to wake up, or when someone comes in.
More relatives and family friends came in to visit. I am tired so I just headed to the private room to have some rest. Same thing happened on Monday. I have to go home on Tuesday because I have to attend to my mother's business, but afterwards I'll go back to the hospital. On Wednesday, the excess fluids returned to her lungs, and the doctor suggested another procedure. This time it would be a surgery. Thinking about that now, how could the doctors suggest such when she's in her worst condition. But we're too vulnerable at that time that we decided to consent on the procedure.
I was saddened to see some of the patients in the ICU has already passed away. Actually, three patients already. I can see the pain of their family crying that it made me cry too.
It was Thursday night, and we waited for the procedure to happen. While she was transferred to the operating room, she seemed fretful.
After the procedure she was brought back to the ICU. She looked at us as if asking for help while the bed was pulled pork inside the room. We had our schedule then, and I'll be with my brother at dawn. It was around 3am when I woke up, and walked quite a distance to the ICU. The private room is quite far and I have to go downstairs.
She was awake when she was cleaned up. Afterwards, she looked at me and called me with brother's name who's not there. We just had her back to sleep again, and I hummed a song while rubbing her forehead. I was quite irritated everytime the song "When You're Gone" by Avril Lavigne plays, even in a moderate volume, on the radio.
My mother is finally asleep, and we waited for her food. I went back to the private room and asked my sister to prepare her food. My brother took over feeding her but she's already asleep. By mid-morning, her breathing is intermittent but her vital signs are okay according the nurse. She's not even waking up. When one of the nurses tried to get her blood pressure, she couldn't hear the pulse so she called on the doctor, and they finally heard her pulse after few attempts.
My father came in along with my sister, so I went home to get some clothes. Nobody's around, and our gate was locked. Our family friend who's been assisting us is waiting there too. My brother messaged her that my mother is in critical condition so I called on my brother that I decided to go back to the hospital. I've been preparing myself, and everytime I look at other people laugh, how I wish I'm like them with such happiness.
My brother called me to go to a certain place to wait for my father and sister because they'll go home. It took around 20 minutes, and they finally came. However, when I got in the van my brother called my father to go back to the hospital. I already knew what it meant, and controlled myself from crying.
When we got to the parking lot, my brother is already there. He told us that my mother is already gone. I already expected it, but it's more painful to hear for confirmation. I cried for several minutes while inside the van. I decided to go to the ICU to see her. There my brother, and sisters are crying. I cried again.
While walking at the aisle, I saw the kindest nurse in the ICU. I just gave a slight smile with tears in my eyes, and she seemed she got an idea what already happened.
We headed back home, and got everything ready for my mother. It was Friday night at that time. One week after she was brought to the ICU.
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Always still painful sir ipol. Praying for comfort pa rin every time you remember. Losing loved ones, i can only imagine, will never be easy and the pain never goes away. Maybe less some time but still there.