I haven't been posting again for few months in here. I have been busy with life while dealing with my OCD. It's been pretty tough but I am still hopeful I'll feel better. There are a lot of things going on and I feel overwhelmed. Struggling how to adjust, and I'm praying that I can get through it.

Normal Life

Covid19 cases are going down. In fact, our province reported that there's zero new cases, which is a good news. Yes it is, but I'm not sure if it really is. The local government isn't doing any tests anymore. Everything seems normal outside. Besides, people prefer not to undergo testing when they have symptoms. They just assume it's a normal cold or cough, or even fever. Vaccination rate in our province is so far high, so people are already complacent. Mild symptoms are not given attention to.

I've been going somewhere recently, and I can say people are already going back to their normal lives.

When we went to the mall, as seen in the picture above, so many people are coming in. It's not that obvious in the picture because most people are outside the department store. Also, mall hours is about to end. Still, my wife and I try to avoid places where there are a lot of people.

In supermarkets or the park, there are crowds too. Aside from avoiding possible contact with Covid infected individuals, we try to avoid such crowded areas. I usually have panic attack when it's crowded too.

Our province is already under Alert Level 1. I initially thought we're already at 0(zero). We're also about to attend our in-person meetings, which has been happening via Zoom for two years. There's a feeling of being overwhelmed, but I'll try to overcome challenges. I admit, my mental health has worsened during the pandemic. It's an adjustment to go back to normalcy. My kind isn't ready so I am trying to do outdoor stuff gradually.

My grieving friends

I was saddened that two of my friends has lost their parents. Last February, my friend's father passed away. He is already 89 during his death, and nearing his 90th year. It's still painful for my friend because his parents went back home from the US just a month ago before his father's passing. He should've spent more time with him. Also, losing a father is very painful. I remember losing my father 11 years ago. That's one of the saddest moments. Hence, I can greatly understand how painful it is to lose a father.

A month after, another friend has lost her mom. It's a difficult situation for the family because it's abrupt. She died of brain aneurysm. The day of her collapse, she's exercising until her daughters heard an unusual sound from her. She was brought to the hospital, but was declared comatose. In few hours, she was transferred to a different hospital. The doctors are dubious whether she will survive it. The family isn't given an assurance. However, the grandson pushed for the CT Scan, and they were told she's braindead.

Her life is relying on ventilator, which if removed, she'll die. That's the sad thing when at state of braindeath, no chance to survive. The family is in dilemma because they can't just let her go. A signed document of her, with some witnesses, stated there that in case she's in a state of health when her life is relying on ventilator, she prefer not to prolong her life. That helped the family to decide. Still, the sudden loss is difficult to bear.

It's sad to lose a mom. My mother passed away back in 2007. There are times when I still cry whenever I remember her. In fact, my parents are in my dream recently. They look so alive that I am in tears when I woke up at dawn.

Life is short. So it is good if you spend time with your loved ones now.