I lost my confidence to dance

Hey guys! It's story time. This is kinda long but i'll hope you'll read til the end. Enjoy!

Eversince I was a little girl, I really loved to dance. We have a DVD player at home, and I always turned that on. Play some upbeat music. I'll lock the door of my room then try to create some dance moves. The feeling was unexplainable when I get to choroegraph a dance of a song alone.

There are times when my danceable spirit will comeout of nowhere and my body just wanna move and groove, and I dance on the bed. Do some stunts and bendings. It was so much fun to imagine I'm in a stage dancing my heart out, where in real life it was just a bed. lol. haha.

I always join in class intermission numbers at school whenever an event is coming. My teachers as well as classmates noticed my dancing skills. I always get compliments from people who watched me danced. I even became a dance leader of our class. I prepared and choreograph a whole dance for an intermission number in the recognition rites when I was in elementary school.

That's the thing that I'm really proud of myself during my childhood. Dancing was my passion before.

But everything changed when I entered high school.

No one notices the thing where I'm good at.

There's this time when our class must select dancers that will represent our class. All I thought was, I will be chosen as one of the dancers that will represent our class in a grade level competition. But nah, I wasn't able to dance because I'm not chosen and no one sees the potential of me dancing, that my skills are only for classroom and just enough to satisfy the teacher who will grade the way I dance.

I feel bad on writing this, cause it feels like i'm ranting. Haha. But yeah, that's the time when I started to think that maybe they're right, I'm not really a good dancer, well no one approached me then said im not a good one. I just feel it from their decisions on not choosing me. And I thought that it's because I don't have looks. I'm not pretty. I don't have clear and flawless skin. And I'm not a close friend of the class leader. I accept the fact that there are really good dancers in our class better than me.

From that moment, I started questioning myself, 'why i'm still pushing myself to dance?', 'why i'm still hoping that someone will notice that I can do what others can do?' , 'why not just accept the truth that im not a dancer?' 💔

I still dance when needed at school, or when I missed dancing. I dance at home, where no one can see me, no one knows that I dance, no one will underestimate my skill and I will just enjoy being me.

From then on, I lost my interest in dancing, lost my confidence, lost self-esteem and started to be ashamed of myself, and that's when I also started to slowly become an introvert.

It's still me a girl who loved to dance that no one appreciates except myself. Maybe I'm just too confident that I really dance well, but in fact I'm really not.

Thanks for reading! This article supposed to be a little longer than this but I decided to remove those parts that has so much info about my high school, because I wanna still hide my indentity here.

Feel free to comment down your insights about this, I will really appreciate it. 💖