We live in a time when one of the most important resurces has become infromation, above all , accurate information. Separating the grain from the chaff, that is , the truth from the lies, has become a serious business. If we are guilible, we will be prone to the mistakes of *believing a lie*, and if we are suspicious, we will be prone to the mistakes of *disbelies in the truh*. In the first case, there is a risk that the wrong people will deceive us, and in the second we will accuse the wrong people.
What is important to point out at the beginning is that there is no sure sign of lying, neither when it comes to changes in the activities of the autonomic nervous system nor when it comes to behavioral indicators. These are only signs that indicate that the emotions shown are not in accordance with the procedures. When our body language is not in line with what we say, people are more likely to believe our body language
For example, we open a gift that we did not like and it was immediately visible on our face. Why? Because it is easier for us to tell a lie than to control gestures and movements. After the sour expression on our faces, we say that the gift is really beautiful. People will believe our reaction and facial expression, not our words. The face reveals lies better than words because the face is directly connected to the parts of the brain that are involved in creating emotions, and words are not.Some people don't make mistakes at all while lying. These are people who use Stanislavski's technique. This technique is most often used by actors to accurately show emotion, such as sadness, by remembering a sad event in life. In this way, the actor relives that emotion. Then there are facial movements that could not be reported if they had voluntarily tried to show emotion on the face.
However, the absence of a sign of fraud is not proof of truth. Just as the presence of a sign of deception is not proof of a lie. In order to reduce the mistakes of believing in a lie, it is important that the behavior of the person under suspicion is well known. The risk of deception exists during the first encounters, while the persons do not yet know each other well and when there is no basis for comparison or opportunity to notice changes in behavior. To create space for fraud detection during the first encounter, a person may be asked several non-stressful questions to see the behavior and compare it to the behavior when asking stressful questions.
On the other hand, in order to reduce the mistakes of not believing in the truth, we must know that there is a sincere person who shows emotional excitement and stress because he thinks that he will not be trusted, and not because he is lying.
How to detect a lie? How did the Chinese do that, many years before our era? The suspect's mouth was filled with rice flour, and if that flour remained unleavened after the suspect spat it out, he was considered to be lying (due to reduced salivation).
Today, methods of thermal mapping (control of changes in blood vessels in the face and changes in temperature in the nose and eyes), pupilometry (study of changes in pupil size), voice analysis software (monitoring changes in intonation and breathing) are becoming increasingly popular.
These software are primarily a psychological stress assessor, a stress analyzer in the voice, a device for monitoring tension in the voice, but as the name suggests, these devices detect stress, but not a lie. There is also a polygraph. However, even a polygraph does not reveal a lie, but only changes in the activities of the autonomic nervous system, that is. changes that occur as a result of emotional arousal (increased sweating, rapid breathing, palpitations).
Liars have long since defeated the polygraph. However, far more reliable techniques and methods of detecting lies and manipulation do not come from the apparatus, but from us, that is, through our verbal and non-verbal communication.
Detecting lies through nonverbal communication
A clear sign of lying is self-touching. The lie generally causes tingling and itching in the facial and neck area and requires scratching and touching:
• touching the face with the hand
• scratching the door
• cover your mouth with your hand
• rubbing the eye (this avoids looking at the person being lied to)
• scratching the nose (when a person lies, the circulation is faster, blood rushes to the nose and the nose expands. This is the so-called "Pinocchio effect". Increased blood flow inflates the nose and causes a burning sensation in its tip. This means that the person is lying, upset. , scared and angry)
• Signs of the autonomic nervous system (rapid breathing, palpitations, frequent swallowing, sweating ...), hands in pockets, narrowing and dilation of the pupils, more blinking, coughing, discoloration of the voice, looking away or looking over our shoulders, blush, fidgeting in a chair and changing the backrest, meaninglessly repeating a certain action (for example, constantly lighting a lighter, turning the pen on and off, moving a certain object from one place to another)
Detecting lies through verbal communication.
If you suspect that someone is lying, get the person to tell you the story in detail, and then after a certain period of time, ask them to tell you again. Rest assured that she will not remember all the details she told you. Ask the same question several times and look for inconsistencies and contradictions in the answers.
When you see someone lying to you in a certain topic, make that person lie even more by asking them as many questions related to that topic as possible to make them uncomfortable.
Here's how we can still detect lies through verbal communication:
• procrastination in response (to gain time to come up with a lie)
• answers that are too simple or too detailed
• inability to tell the situation or event from the end to the beginning (a person who lies can describe the event and the situation from the beginning to the end, but if we ask him to tell from the end to the beginning, he will not be able to arrange the event chronologically)
• Invoking poor memory (in this way a person creates room for maneuver, ie creates an atmosphere in advance that if he tells a story that does not correspond to reality, he is not a liar but only has a bad memory and memory)
• The person acknowledges the feelings but lies about what caused them
• Acknowledging the truth with exaggeration (for example, when a girl asks a guy if he has seen his ex-girlfriend, and he answers that they not only see each other but see each other every day)
• The need to think about each word before saying it (weighing possibiliies, searching for words).
Why is this all important? Because awareness of the existence of manipulation and lies and their recognition in time, represents 80% protection from them. However, the best protection against lies and manipulation is a good assessment, and far more important than the assessment is insight. Why is insight more important than judgment? Well, because insight precedes a good assessment.
Insight is prudence, shrewdness, prudence, correct reasoning and observation. There are people who both hear and see and read, but do not understand. Insightful people understand. That is why insight is cognition. And the pinnacle of that realization is wisdom.
Insight is wanting to look at situations, phenomena and people deeper and wider. On the other hand, the assessment refers to whether something is useful or not, true or false, good or bad, etc. And how do we conclude that if we are not perceptive?
Finally, it is important to note that the above lie detection techniques are used for self-defense purposes. However, far more important than self-defense is the question of self-deception? What if we lie to ourselves? How to protect yourself? In that sense, I will use the words of Francis Bacon, who said: "Be honest with yourself so that you are not false to others."
Thanks for reading this is my first blog.
