Delving into the Depths of the Unknown

05 October 2021

For months now, I have been consistently setting goals and that feels like already a tradition in here. Setting goals is nice, it helps me improve and it makes it easier for me to monitor my progress. However, I have been thinking about this since the beginning of this month, I was contemplating whether to set new goals or not.

And I ended up into a decision to not make another one. I have a lot of realizations from the past month and I just feel like though I am growing, it has been a very slow growth. The feeling of achieving the target goal is also nice, very nice actually but I just feel like, it is already being routinary.

I also find it as the reason for my slow growth because it feels like I am just going in circles, I am trapped inside and the coverage of my movement was very limited. That is why instead of setting boundaries for myself through setting goals, I decided that this month will be a month of exploration for me.

A month of exploration.

I wanted to grow and I can only do that if I try and discover new things. I have been meaning to learn since then but I lack the will to actually do so. I am too lazy to actually make an effort to feed my curiosity.

On this month, I fill focus on where I am lacking and I will take my time studying the things that I want to know. I will surely take my time because as much as I want to grow, I am also fully aware that change or growth doesn't happen overnight. But honestly, I still don't know what I want to changeand what I want to learn, the only plan I have right now is to discover new things that is out of my comfort zone.

Also, I want to focus on my self development. I know I did grow and learn a lot from the past months but as I have said, the growth was slow. Growth is growth, no matter how slow it is, yes, I know that. But I also know that I can still push myself to do something about it so might as well do what I can do.

Need to improve.

Instead of setting another set of goals which I will set how many articles I plan to published this month, how many articles should I read in a day, I just really wanted to focus more on my content.

8 months have passed and I still feel lost sometimes. I know my niche but I am so guilty about publishing thoughtless contents for so many times. My readers doesn't deserve that.

• Well-written article

I became used to writing and publishing my article immediately without even proofreading it and I'm aware that it often results to both typographical and grammatical errors.

• Lacks reading

I used to love reading the works of others back then but now, as much as I want to blame it on my busy schedule, I know that a big reason why I don't read that much anymore is because I just don't feel like reading, I am too lazy to read. I really want to bring back my enthusiasm about reading the work of others like before.

• Stuck somewhere in the cryptoverse

I have said for a hundred time that I wanted to learn yet I'm not doing an effort to actually learn. 8 months and still a noob. I want to explore, I want to learn, I want to relate. So maybe I'll finally dive in the cryptoverse.

This feels like a wide see that I am about to swim but let's see how far and how deep I can go with this plan of mine.

• Procrastination

This is the part where I am acing and it's bad. This is the very reason why I feel so unproductive and this is also the reason why I am stuck because it keeps me from moving. I really need to discipline myself so that I can finally avoid this.

Discover new talents.

I have this strong urge in me that I want to try new things which I can't even name. I wanted to write different things from what I usually write. I wanted to try writing a story even though I am not good at it.

I love taking pictures so I really wanted to improve my photography skills. I will invest my time into this thing until I'm finally satisfied with what I can do.

I am also interested into computers these days. Anything under the information technology. It makes me want to know more about literally anything. This is just really frustrating, to have the urge to want to learn something but don't exactly know what is that something.

I also want to improve my editing skills. May it be publication materials, photos, invitations or even videos. I just thought I wanted to try and practice these editing stuffs.

Calligraphy also caught my attention. I've watched some tutorials but haven't actually tried it so maybe it's time for me to finally try it.

I also want to expand my vocabulary and to learn more about English which I really find fascinating. Surprisingly, I used to hate Science but it also caught my interest lately.

There are really a lot of things that I want to try so just like what I have said, I will not be bounded by goals this time. I don't even have a solid plan, what I know and what I want is to enter different doors that will lead me to discovery.

I feel like I'm in a crisis right now by not really knowing what I want so I'll just be here somewhere, wandering around, trying and trying until I can finally find what I really want.

I feel so lost but I know that I have to begin somewhere and this is that somewhere. I hope that somehow, I can put all these plans into action.

This is odd.

Hey there! Thank you so much for reading this far. Apologies for bringing you to my misery. I just really have this feeling which I can't name. I don't know what I want, or maybe there is too many things that I want that I feel so lost on where to start.

This is really odd. But now that it is slightly getting clearer, I can see so many things that I am lacking but this is not me putting myself down. This is me acknowledging areas where I need improvement. Those areas needs to be addressed and that's my only plan for now. No rules, no time limit. I will awaken all these potentials within me and I will delve into a world that is full of discovery.

Good luck to my new endeavor this time.

Cheers to another month! I hope that all may go well with you.

:)

Article #144