Teach your child about good and bad touch

One of the most worrying and frightening social problems today is child sexual abuse. This black claw often falls on children before they learn to understand anything, which can ruin a child's beautiful childhood and adolescence. Can stop her naturalness and beautiful growth. The effects of such events are long lasting in the life of a child.

They can become mentally ill, and many choose the deadly path of suicide. Again, in many cases children do not even understand, but these abuses continue with them for a long time. Many times they understand but they feel guilty in this case, they feel bad. They can't say the words openly for fear.

Talk to your child as soon as possible and increase the amount of information he or she receives with age;

In Bangladesh, sexuality is seen as a difficult taboo. On top of that, in our country, the simple relationship of children with their parents is rarely seen. In most cases, an invisible wall acts between parents and children. Boys and girls can't talk to their parents with open minds. If it comes to sex, then there is no point.

In most cases, a child is not told about reproductive education by his or her family until he or she reaches puberty. If 10 girls are still asked, it will be seen that only 7-8 of them have been told anything about the period from her home after her first period.

So when it comes to these issues of sexual abuse, most children are afraid to tell anyone in their family and often they do not understand the issues. The first way to solve this problem is to give the child the correct knowledge about his body, ‘good touch-bad touch’ and ‘touch protection rules’ from the very beginning of understanding. Now the question may come up, how can such a small child be taught about such difficult subjects or how do you start teaching your child about it?

So let's take a step-by-step look at how you can teach your child about this.

1) Preparation

A) Preparation for yourself

First, prepare yourself mentally to talk to your child about this. You will find various educational content on this topic on YouTube or other places. There are also books for children. You can prepare yourself first by looking at them.

B) Create environment

You can talk to your family members about this before you start teaching your child about it. Because kids are naturally curious. So when you start talking to him about it, your child may ask other family members different questions about it. So if your family members don't have a proper idea about talking to the child about it, they may be embarrassed themselves, and in many cases they may even threaten the child. Such a situation can be detrimental to the opposite baby. So it is better to take steps in this regard from the beginning.

C) When is the right time to start talking to children about it?

Basically children can feel a lot from the time they learn to walk and learn to speak perfectly. They may not say the right word, but learn to feel. So as soon as the child starts to understand you or from the time he is old enough to go to school, you can start talking to your child about it. Then as his age increases and his ability to understand increases, you can continue to give him information accordingly.

2) Teach the correct names of all the organs of the body and teach about the secret organs of the body

Most of the time children cannot tell about the sexual abuse that happens to them because they do not know the exact names of the hidden parts of their body. If they are taught the names of the secret parts of their body correctly, in case of any untoward incident, it will be possible for them to say them correctly and they will also understand that they can also talk about these parts of the body.

Also use proper names when teaching children about body parts. You can tell them like this- the parts of the body that are covered with swimming clothes are called the secret parts of the body. Gradually increase the amount of information provided to children as they get older.

3) No one can touch him without his will

Teach your child who has complete control over who touches him and how. If they do not like to be touched in any way, teach them to say 'no' directly and learn to respect their wishes. At the same time, teach them that if any of their siblings or friends forbid him to touch them, they should listen to him.

If your child doesn't want to go to someone in your family, wants to kiss or hug them, if they don't like them, never force them. Listen calmly later, why he doesn't like things. In this way the child will understand the importance of his opinion and will develop a normal relationship with you. Also let your relatives know that you are teaching your child about safe touch and awareness so that they do not force your child.

4) Teach about three types of touch

A) Safe touch

These are the touches that are good for the baby and keep the baby safe. Through this touch the child realizes that he is being cared for and that he feels important. Safe touches include hugging, patting on the back, holding hands on the shoulders, and more. Also in any case the child gets pain, such touches can also include safe touches. Such as- removing thorns from the feet, removing teeth, giving injections etc. These are also done to keep the baby safe.

B) Unsafe touch

These are the types of touches that hurt children physically or emotionally (such as slaps, punches, tweezers, kicks, etc.). Teach your child, such touches never apply. No one can touch him in this way and he cannot touch anyone in this way.

C) Unwanted touch

These touches can be both safe and unsafe. Unwanted touching will only happen when the child is touched against his will no matter how close the person is to him. Make it a habit to teach your child not to say firmly, but politely so that he can immediately say 'no' when he is embarrassed by a touch. This will build her self-confidence and enable her to set her own personal boundaries, which can save her from many unforeseen events.

5) Teach about 'Touch Protection Rules' and 'Safety Circles'.

Once children learn the names of their secret organs, you can gradually begin to teach them more. For example, first you can teach him about ‘Safety Circles’. The ‘Safety Circle’ is an imaginary circle through which you can teach your child who is safe for your child. You can determine who will be in the 'Safety Circle' and tell the child that no one outside your Safety Circle can touch you in your private areas. Now in the child safety circle, the child's parents, grandmothers, aunts, uncles or the child who is taking care of the child, cleaning, bathing, they can stay. But first you have to be careful about whether they are really safe or not.

Then teach the child a few safety rules according to his age. In this case, you should be careful that when you teach these things to the child, it is very important to say, do not say these words to the child by creating an environment. In a light environment, play tricks, spend time with the child and keep teaching him things little by little. The ‘Touch Protection Rules’ are,

• Never touch private parts of your body and never let anyone outside the safety circle touch your private parts of your body.

• If someone touches the private part of his own body in front of you or asks you to touch the private part of your body, he will immediately refuse and leave.

• If someone tells you to undress without the need for treatment, never undress.

• Don't let anyone take pictures of you without your clothes on and no one will see you if they want to show you pictures without their clothes.

• You have every right to decide who can touch you, kiss you and hug you. And if you don't like something, you can say 'no' right away.

6) Properly teach the difference between good touch and bad touch

Good touch

We love those we love and those in our safety circle when they hug or caress us. The touches they give us are good touches. E.g.

• When you wake up mom kisses you.

• When the father kisses while sleeping.

• When grandparents travel, they hug, caress and kiss everyone.

Bad touch

• The touches that make you feel embarrassed or bad are basically bad touches. E.g.

• If any touch hurts you, it is a bad touch.

• If someone touches you in a part of the body where you don't want anyone to touch you.

• If someone touches or pushes under your clothes, it is a bad touch.

• If you feel bad or embarrassed because of a touch, it is a bad touch.

• If any touch scares you, it is a bad touch.

• If someone forces you to touch him, it is a bad touch.

• If someone forbids you to tell anyone about touching you, that is a bad touch.

• If someone tells you something about the touch and threatens to hurt you, it's a bad touch.

7) What should a child do if someone touches him badly?

Every child needs to be taught well what to do if they are the victim of such an unfortunate event. In this case, first of all, the parents or those who are close to the child should take care - they should have a simple and beautiful relationship with the child from the beginning, so that the child can speak openly to you in any situation. Then tell him what steps he should take if he finds himself in such a situation.

Tell him-

You have to say 'no' immediately. The person has to say that you don't like it when someone touches you and now you don't want him to touch you like that.

You have to get out of that place quickly. Whose touch makes you feel embarrassed, will run away from that person quickly. Never be alone with that person again. And inform parents about this.

• If there is anyone around, you have to ask him for help. Need to shout.

• You have to believe in yourself. Remember, you did nothing wrong. The one who is doing this to you is worse.

• If someone touches you badly, tell the story to someone you trust. Even if the person tries to scare you, you will not be afraid and will not keep quiet.

• Don't hide anything that makes you feel embarrassed or bad.

• Try your best to stay away from that person. Don't be alone with someone whose touch makes you feel embarrassed or bad.

This is to teach children about good touch and bad touch. Now some words for the parents of the children. In the current context, it can be seen that someone may be a child abuser. The person may even be someone very close to your family. So the parents should be aware of these issues from the beginning and explain the child as much as possible.

It is often seen that after the child informs his parents about the issues, they cover up the issues out of fear of public shame and society. Not only do they harm their children; At the same time, they give a monster a chance to roam freely in the society, which will destroy the childhood of many more children. So the request to the parents, if any such incident has happened to any child in your family and you can find out, punish the culprit, bring him to justice. If we want to make the world habitable for children, it is very important to eradicate such monsters.

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