Toxic positivity sometimes can offend

Have you experienced that someone wants to encourage you with positive attitude when you are down, sad and exchausted? You probably did it at least once to yourself or to other close friends,without intention. Sometimes it is just better to let the things calm down by themselves, to let the black thoughts to be black and accept the other people' feelings. Even if we touch the bottom ,we need to stay there for a while,to spend some time in order to make a deal with ourselves how to continue.

I think about this topic very often.

Toxic positivity is the exaggeration of positive or negative feelings ,it can be defined as an obsession with positive thinking, the belief that everything should be turned to good and beautiful, even those deeply tragic experiences. And that can be very dangerous.

This, for example, happens in a situation when a colleague from work tells you that her important contract has failed, and you just tell her to smile and that everything will be fine.

When you respond to negative emotions with pure optimism, you are actually practicing toxic positivity. Unintentionally positive attitude when it is not the moment can offend.

When a person is overwhelmed by this overemphasized feeling of toxic positivity, he rejects and denies every kind of experience that makes us human, and lives life in that way, refusing to accept empathy, but longs for these general phrases "everything will be fine", . time needs to pass and so on, which is not a way to make her / him better.

If the person really wants such feedback, try to explain the difference as a person who cares about her feelings.

In this way you can recognize toxic positivity:

When you hide what you really feel,

When you discard your emotions,

When you feel guilty about the negative emotions you are feeling,

When you downplay other people's experiences by saying "just don't think about it,"

When you show a different perspective in a "not so bad" way,

When you make others feel uncomfortable because they feel negative emotion.

Sometimes we don't need to simplify reality. Instead of saying "just be positive", really say how things are, for example, in this way: "a lot can go wrong; let's see what can come out of it. "

In the case of toxic negativity, you should also know that your positivity towards the other side can be interpreted as a false feeling of concern or interest in the problem. It is really important to respond honestly and realistically to the emotion that has been expressed to you and to provide pure empathy, not optimism.

So, don't try to fix one person's feelings, just tell them that you are there for him .

I am sure that my friends do it sometimes when I am in a bad mood, or opposite probably I use toxic positivity too in order to make someone happy .We sometimes just want to enjoy in some conversation and someone's bad mood bothers us and we just want to make things easier for us and do it, but it is toxic behaviour,right?

People with problems just need time to overcome it and they don't want to hear some common relaxing phrases.

Thanks for reading.

The text is about my own opinions about the topic ,but there are parts used from other sources from the internet.