@ideallife 19 January 2022 more from that month

Their youth is my vigor, when I see them, I imagine my youth and I get vigor A lot of growing kids, I see them. They pass by my window, sometimes my door. I look at the beautiful ones, of the healthy ones, and I get some vigor. Time passes by me. I am no one but some strange poet. I speak in codes and I want to be understood but not. I use vague languages, I don’t go straight to the point. When I fail to express myself into the open, I go to my shell, leaving me exasperated and sad, even depressed. But each youth that comes to grace my eyes, I see something of my young self in them and I get inspiration to move one. Amid myself, my contradictory self, I find ways to go along the demands of the society on how to be virtual and a role model to the youth. I honestly don’t feel so good about my adult self. I am selfish, not a good role model, and that I get angry very quickly. I then put my eyes on young people. I sometimes, see the young boys to myself but that is just out of foolishness. That is not supposed to be. But then, truthfully when I see the youngsters, my heart feels glad of seeing them. I imagine my younger self and I try to smile and make myself happier each day. My being isn’t a drawing of lines and perfect figures. Rather, it is a messy painting of a child but in there lies a lot of promises. Even how I describe myself is of the young. So I have to be young at heart in order to live life at the positive portion.