It feels like I’m in this big room even though I’m laying down in my bed, holding my blanket. My room feels like it’s the size of a warehouse but no one else is here.
I grab anything around me because I don’t feel safe in this place, yet I am still in my room, scared yet my family is talking, laughing, having a great time.
Monsters don’t exist, I know they don’t but I have a feeling that someone is watching me, somewhere in this room I can sense eyes just staring at me.
It feels like I can’t be watched yet I still have people glaring at me, I can still hear the whispers at night, I don’t know if they’re still talking about me or not but when I tried to speak to them, they were silent, is that what it’s like talking to me?
I swear I try to listen, but when I have questions, they’re just left unanswered.
Did they hear me?
Was I loud enough?
Maybe I didn’t even say anything, I can’t remember now.
My mind is like the social media we look at, constantly side-tracking, making me feel like I’m not a good listener or that I'm not good enough for this world.
Why do people listen to the news?
I have always hated hearing about the news, it scares me just hearing what's going on around me, why do I have to know?
It's not important to my life, so I shouldn’t worry about it, yet isn’t school drama the same?
That’s important to kids but, outside of the school, it's pointless.
Breathing is hard.
Am I dying?
I don’t think so, it feels like my lungs are collapsing in on themselves.
Yet I feel… nothing.
I don’t even feel the tears on my face anymore but I can still see them.
Why am I crying?
I only cry to get sympathy yet no one has come and helped me, and no one will.
I just wanna leave this place already, but I can’t find the door.
Oh yeah, I remember now.
I remember why it feels like a big, empty… room now.