Let's use cooperation as the most natural part of a functional society

How do you feel about asking for help? Do you think that if I need it, I'll get support from someone, or do you think that no matter what the circumstances are, I'll push through and do it myself? Why is it that we humans, who used to say "Can you help me do this?" when we were little, find it so difficult to ask for help as we grow up? According to a study published in the Journal of Psychological Science, while most people are willing to help others, they avoid asking for help when they need it themselves. Even the lead author of the study, Dr. Xuan Zhao, says that despite conducting such research, he is hesitant to ask for help. So why is it so hard to ask for help and is it possible to ask for help more easily?

Why is it difficult to ask for help?

Help is a natural part of both humanity and a functional society. We are all naturally inclined to help others, and we often benefit from it, and even enjoy it. Many scientific studies point out that helping promotes well-being and provides mental, spiritual and physical benefits. However, unfortunately, when it comes to asking for help, it can be difficult, and for some people, almost impossible.

There can be many different reasons for not asking for help. However, research and expert opinions show that the most common reason is the fear of appearing inadequate. Most people believe that asking for help from someone else will be perceived as a failure, no one wants to be seen as inadequate or vulnerable; even though asking for help does not mean all these things... On the other hand, fear of rejection is also an important reason. In other words, thinking 'I will ask for help but what if he/she doesn't help...' prevents many people from asking for help when they need it. However, we can't know without asking, right, maybe - or even most likely - the other person is eager to help us.

In addition to individual beliefs and thoughts, there is also a personality trait that often causes us trouble, which is the biggest obstacle to asking for help: Perfectionism. People who want everything they do to be perfect, perfectionists, don't want to do it with the support of others or leave it up to them, because it is too scary for them to let go of control. They want to be present at every step of the work, to control, observe, observe, interpret, edit, improve; in short, they want to perfect it. Therefore, they avoid asking others for help at the cost of time and energy.

If we move away from individual reasons and approach the issue from a more social perspective, we come across cultural norms: Not wanting to be a burden to anyone. Thoughts such as "I don't want to cause any trouble, I don't want to be misunderstood, I don't want to steal anyone's time and energy" may prevent people from asking for help. Therefore, all these reasons can create barriers for both individuals and societies. So what needs to be done is to know how to ask for help and ask for help.

Tips to make it easier to ask for help

They asked the wolf, why is your neck thick? Because I can do my own work, he said. But what harm would an extra hand do? Not harm, but benefit; one hand makes light work and two hands make sound. Let's try to normalize asking for help, to make it more visible and acceptable, to take a step that will be good for both ourselves and society.

Here are some tips to make it easier for you to ask for help:

1. Help yourself first

2. Listen to science

3. Make a habit of asking for help

5. Ask for help in the right way

6. Normalize asking for and receiving help in your environment

7. Do something for each other

8. Don't assume you know what others know

Remember, every human being is already inclined to help by nature; the important thing is to know how to ask for help. Put aside perfectionism, arrogance, shame, prejudices and ask for help for the betterment of yourself and your community. In the worst case scenario, even if your call for help does not receive a positive response, the first person you ask for help who cannot help you may know someone else who can help you. Never miss an opportunity to get help and help others.