It feels like the universe is conspiring against you. When everything else fails and you are slowly drowning to the bottomless sea of worry and desperation. You tried to keep your head afloat, above the water; wishing that the storm will pass. Yet half knowing that everything is just a drill for the worst to happen. And you imagine the worst and practicing to bear the pain of the impending news.
And so...
The time has come for the unforgivable and inevitable tale to be told. You kneel in prayer for strength. But was distracted to ear-splitting noise of a broken glass shattered on a tiled floor. Your body shook and you painfully realized- it is the sound of you heart- breaking. You clasped your heart in vain, suddenly not knowing how to breath. Everything is hazy and unreal; like seeing yourself in a bad dream. You try to pinch and wake yourself but you can't feel your toes. It is numb all over. You want to cry but your eyes are dry. In an instant with undeniable longing, you want to throw yourself at the floor, to roll over with the dirt and dust like a five year old with a bad tooth making a spectacle of herself in front of a church door, surrounded by grandmothers trying to soothe her with calming pats.
You wanted to go amok; tempted to seek refuge to the sanctuary of insanity. But still you choose suffering over numbness; to standing at the precipice over jumping on the hill. Hoping against hope that the adage would still remain true that eventually "Time heals all wounds"
And it did. Really.