My reflections on rejections, etc...

I guess, one of the many harsh realities we had to deal with as a human being are rejections and betrayal. For the past years, I had been hit hard with this inevitable occurrences in my personal relationships. Though some are subtle like the growing distant you can inexplicably feel between friends whom conversations turn into abrupt and awkward silence, but there are some who are brutal to the extent of reducing your self worth and losing your faith in the goodness of humanity and the beauty of living life itself. It sounds a little exaggerated on a hindsight, but mind you if you are in that dark hole of self- pity and disillusionment, you will never wonder why there are many who resort to harming themselves to numb the pain, and there are some who ultimately escape to eternal oblivion. Personally, I never attempted to do the deed, but it is safe to say it had crossed my mind.

Going through this phase and all that it entails is hard, dramatic, addicting but is indeed unhealthy. There a lot of romantization that is happening around this stuff, and Yes, I am guilty of it. But I must say it's one desperate shot for survival. Challenges and difficult times are part of life. However, different people have different way of dealing and coping with loss. Some can easily withstand the storm like a big strong tree but I'm like a twig that can easily be twisted and displaced in the middle of chaos. But still, this doesn't exempt me from getting a taste of the bitterness of rejections, betrayals and the likes.

But everything has an end, even heartaches and pain. It has to stop for better of for worse. And I hope not all are so disheartened with life to hope for the worse. Yes, I am a hopeful and everyday I'm trying to be. This survived me. The lessons I've learned from the challenges I've faced is not new or undiscovered. It is as old as time. It is the content of the self-help books we can easily find in this modern world. To say the least, Acceptance is one of them, right? It is the first and hardest part of the process, but I wo'nt dwell so much on that because I knew that you knew the drill already. We have gone through so much, and we may have been broken inside a lot, and there's a lot to come for sure. But the very fact that we are still breathing, standing and trying everyday despite and inspite of, is the strength and the courage that would calm us to embrace life however beautiful and ugly it can be.