Longing for you
May 24th, 2022
It has been 4 days since May 21st, 2022 when you are not at home with us. I want you to be with us but I am also scared that you are not able to fight the temptation on your own. I decided that you needed help. I asked you once and you are willing to comply but you asked to be near us. I have no other choice but to let you go since I have given you chances to cure yourself but you show no sign of improvement. Your heart is there but you cannot fight the devil. I have to be considerate of our daughter as well since she is the only one we have together.
We are just a small family of three but I am not capable of being a passionate wife for you. You blamed me for your action. I did blame myself too but I also thought that you do not have acceptance and humbleness inside of you. You are defeated by your ego as a man. You should have known by now that I am an independent woman but need to be pampered. You only need to love me as I am for me to listen to you obediently. Yet I am also like a cat, if I want something I am going to get it no matter the obstacle especially when I believe that it is good.
Why did I trust you so much and yet you still said that I did not trust you enough?
Judging by the way you are now, do you think that it is worth it for me to trust you. You destroyed my peaceful life and yet you are asking for more. This is my feelings for you now. Perhaps I need more time to forgive you.
Why did I trust our daughter with you?
She is a beautiful, wonderful, and kind daughter but because of you and me, she became a monster to the other children.
Are you not having a heartache listening to the teacher's comment for her?
Luckily they are willing to give her a try.
Am I that worst for you to give me this disastrous life?
Did I make you suffer that terrible that you put all the blame on me?
The moment I wrote this, I am extremely angry with your choices in life. If you cannot change yourself then please leave us.
I love you but love alone is not enough. I am going to do my best to help you but if you are not going to help yourself, please think about our daughter. If you hate me, please think about the love that I once gave you.
You did say that once I have a child I will not love you much anymore. I am going to tell you that you are wrong. I did live with you wholeheartedly but you ruin the feelings with your own mistake.
I gave you choices and you chose wrong.
If you think that your decisions are right then why are you not happy?
Please ask yourself.