" I've made a mistake and I want to punish myself! "

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Avatar for hamedbkh
4 years ago

In this life, there are sentiments that are always hard to deal with no matter how old and experienced we become. The unpleasant feeling of guilt and regret is one of those. Regardless of how bad the mistake you made is, dealing with such a situation isn't something you really enjoy, especialy when guilt starts eating you alive until you are convinced that only self-punishment is your salvation. And that's where the red flags are up. Some people might go as far as self harm to try and "beat" that feeling, which is obviously a mistake in itself.

So is it really necessary to punish ourselves when we make a mistake? And if the answer is yes, then what are the best ways to do so?

Before getting to the punishment part, there are some important quastions you have to ask yourself: Why do you feel guilty at the first place? Is that (supposed to be) mistake really that bad? Or it's just your mind exaggerating the whole matter? Pose those questions a couple of times during the day and think about all the details to get a clear answer. If you still think you need to punish yourself after this stage, then keep reading, I will help you to choose a "suitable" punishment.

Of course, when I say a "suitable punishment", don't expect stuffs like banging your head on the wall, self harm or even the mental torture that some people do when they blame themselves. No! Not even close. We are trying to find a possibility to let this so called self punishment turn into a way to make your life better, not the opposite. Choosing the right punishment is decisive here and it can make things better or worse. Well then, with that being said, how to pick a punishment without really hurting yourself?

It's all about positive thinking. Why would you harm yourself (physically or mentally) when you can change it to an opportunity to improve your skills? Always take the so called punishment as a chance to correct the mistake you have made and the guilt resulting from it. For example assume that you failed a test, instead of blaming yourself over and over again in vain, Just add one or two additional hours to your usual studying time for a month. That way you will hit two birds with one stone: Eliminating the feel of guilt and fix the original problem as well.

In every punishment you pick, consider options related to enlarging your knowledge or developing a healthy habit. Walking is an ideal option, especially for long distances everyday. Other than being a healthy habit, it also clear your mind and help with recovering your mood. Reading is fine too. Read a book related to your mistake so you will learn how to fix it and never repeat it again. Here is another trick: If you are a sugar loving person, try "punishing" yourself with living a sugar- free lifestyle for 3 days. There are a lot of other possibilities you can come up with. Just be creative.

This looks so efficient and simple to do right? Well at some point it is. But keep in mind the following: No matter how possitvie it might seem, the self-punishment is a two edged sword and it should be used wisely. Don't over do it consecutively for every mistake you make. Do it like once or twice every few months. You don't want to subconsciously convince your mind that every mistake should be penalized or that we can only develop good habits through punishments alone. That will make you either afraid of making mistakes and/or lose your passion for everything in life.

One last advice, always keep whatever punishment you pick a secret to yourself. That will make you avoid the unnecessary comments which sometimes may become rude and mean. It's something that YOU are doing for YOUR own self, so it's preferable to keep it that way.

So here you have it! I hope this helps you a little the next time you think about punishing yourself. And remember, Don't be too harsh on yourself. In the end, we are only humans. It is just a part of our nature, to learn from our mistakes and move on in our lives.

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4 years ago

Comments

I had a junoir in another city and he is financially weak .. he asked me for some of my old books I want to corier it to him but can't tell my mom so I stole money from her to do this job ... Plz suggest me a suitable punishment so that I can come out of this guilt

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3 years ago

Brilliant one

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4 years ago

It's a normal to made a mistake. Mistake is a one way to learn. It is unavoidable. Every person made a mistake. Accept your mistake and you will feel freedom.Let your mistake be the pathways to change your life. Make it as your motivation inorder to success. Just be you are.

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4 years ago

Very wise words. That's true, but some people finds it hard to move on and that mistake keeps hunting them. This article might help those feel better and take it in a positive way.

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4 years ago

Phenomenal post! One of the best I've read here. We must learn from our mistakes, from our own mistakes and from the mistakes of others! I think it’s okay to re-examine ourselves, which makes us feel guilty in some situations.

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4 years ago

That's very true. Examining ourselves is the key to improve. One must know his weak and strong points and work on them. How? Well the easiest and fastest way is to learn from not only our but also mistakes made by others. Thank you for reading and your positive comment. I hope you enjoy reading my other articles as well.

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4 years ago

Self judgement is best judgement

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4 years ago

yes It is indeed. As long as it doesn't go too far and tend to be extreme.

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4 years ago

I really like the positivity of this article. It made me rethink the things I'm doing to punish myself when I do something wrong. Then, I realized I shouldn't have been too harsh with myself. Thanks for this! 😊

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4 years ago

You are welcome! That was the point from the article. No need to be hard on yourself. We all make mistakes and that's not something to be ashamed with. Glad that you like this.

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4 years ago

So positive vibes! I am feeling so glad to read the article. Thank you for writing it with so much emotion and passion.

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4 years ago

You are very welcome! If you want to go as far as possible in this life you have to be postive. You can't do much with negative thoughts. Thank you for reading!

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4 years ago

Nice article,i like it

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4 years ago

I'm happy that you like it! thank you for your kind words!

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4 years ago

These words are really words from the wise and one who has ears should listen to the words of this..

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4 years ago

Your kind words are very much appreciated! Thanks for your time to read and comment!

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4 years ago

It's a truth, that all of us have to make mistakes due to certain imperfections. All human beings are imperfect in a world of today. The process of learning continues throughout the lifetime.

Accordingly, any mistake brings each of us some knowledge. Instead of fearing a failure, learning needs to take place.

If a particular attempt fails, another trial motivates life to succeed. There is considerable growth towards personal success.

Thanks for the inspiring idea.

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4 years ago

Very accurate! We are not even close to be perfect creatures. We need mistakes to improve ourselves. No need to be depressed and sad about it. Just learn from it and move on. Thank you for reading.

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4 years ago

Human beings are fallible and mostly we learn by doing. In every mistake, people should not find a way to punish themselves or deprive themselves from something they love. There must be a judge in their hearts to have a fair value judgement system. We can make mistakes, let's do not be that harsh but gain experience from every bad mistake 😌

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4 years ago

What you have just said is one of the messages i tried to pass to the reader. Just be possitive and get better using those mistakes.

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4 years ago

I really love this article. Wow πŸ‘ I can't stop reading even it's long. Good job πŸ‘

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4 years ago

I appreciate that! thank you for the nice words and for reading this! :)

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4 years ago

You're welcome 😊

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4 years ago

This article is specifically fit for the milinias who thinks the best punishment to oneself in wrong doing is suicide. Quite educative article.

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4 years ago

It's like correcting a mistake with an even bigger one. Of course that's very wrong.

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4 years ago