A couple of days ago, I was browsing a social media platform when I stumbled across a post which caught my attention and encouraged me to write this article; it was a status posted by a father in which he compared between his two daughters' academic careers and their current positions and social ranks. From the context of his status, it was very clear that he was impressed by one of the girls, and disappointed in the other.
First of all, and before addressing the topic of this article, I do not know why such a comparison was necessary to begin with. As someone who experienced it first hand, I can only tell you that comparing your children with each other will do more harm than benefit; not only this will spread jealousy, disdain and perhaps hatred among the siblings, but it will weaken their bonds with the parents as well. This father is literally putting the cat among the pigeons, so to speak.
But for now, let us not digress further and stick to the main topic.
In his said status, this man explained how graduating from college was an uphill battle for his first daughter, and how much she struggled to get her degree. However, the same girl, who almost dropped out school at some point, is now the proud founder and owner of a multi million dollar cosmetics company! Quite an impressive success indeed, and a great paradigm of never giving up the big dreams. Although, I believe her dad made the usual, common superstition of linking the academic performance to the future occupation/career. Both are not necessarily related and in many cases, school grades has little to nothing to do with how successful one's life is. There are plenty of examples of illiterate self made millionaires. But other than that, this father has every right to boast about his daughter's achievement.
On the other hand, there was his second daughter, the real trigger for me writing these lines.
This girl, unlike her sister, was a bright student. Or as her dad called her, a straight A student. According to him, she was clever and skilled which earned her a fully funded scholarship in a prestigious college. Yet much to everybody's surprise, this same girl is currently working as a kindergarten teacher earning as little as $35k per year. Compare that with the millions of dollars her sister is making running her company.
The father went further, explaining that the first daughter offered her sister to fill a high ranked position in the cosmetics company. An offer which the second daughter declined, claiming that she was happy with what she was doing to make a living. Her dad could not understand how could anyone miss such a chance and suspected if his daughter was thinking straight when she rejected the job.
Now let us agree first that this father, as the same as any parent, wants his daughter to aim higher and raise the level of her ambition , and he is probably right: she graduated from one of the elite colleges in their country, so starting a solid career should be easier for her than most. It is also understandable that the man wants her to secure her future financially, taking into account that $35k of yearly income is actually below average in their country of residence.
However, there is a key word which the father had mentioned but did not give it much thought: "she is happily employed as a kindergarten teacher, making $35k per year". Clearly, this is not a situation where she took the job due to the lack of options, and neither did she hate what she was doing; she just happened to enjoy teaching and be surrounded by children, regardless of the payment. As simple as that.
But how anyone could find happiness in such tiresome, noisy job where one is barely able to make a living?
Well, that is because not everyone is linking their happiness with money. Do not get me wrong though. This is not the usual cliché of "money is not important"or criticizing materialism. After all, whether we admit it or not, money is indeed important. The feeling of bitterness when lacking the money to buy what you need/want is not exactly a part of happiness, isn't it? Therefore, and although I agree that money alone does not bring happiness, I do also believe that it helps living a luxurious misery. My friend once said jokingly: " I know money will not make me happy, but I'm fine with crying in a Ferrari and wiping my tears with a roll of banknotes."
However, there is a persistent question in need of an answer: why many of those who are making tons of money are not happy with their lives, even though they can easily get whatever they want, while others are as happy as a lark with their lives even though they lack the privilege of owning a fortune?
In our neverending quest of searching for happiness, several of us set the bare high for themselves, chasing a dream which, in their minds, is the only way to become their happy selves they seek. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that kind of thinking: aiming for the stars is never a bad idea, especially when met with hard work and willingness to fulfill that dream at whatever cost. Yet is that the only road on the map of happiness? Definitely not.
The happiness that came with achieving big dreams is without a doubt enormous. Yet it is also very short lived; it gradually fades away with time mostly due to the responsibilities the comes with it. For instance, I bet that the first daughter felt on top of the world when she established her cosmetics company. But I highly doubt if she felt the same way after months of dealing with the huge responsibilities that came of running her own business. This is why I do strongly believe that happiness, the lasting one, comes from enjoying the little things and being grateful for what you have. Someone who makes tons of money will not be happy if they did not value what they have achieved.
I will not claim that the big moments in our lives are rare, but they are not frequent either. How many times in life you may found a multi million dollar business? How many times can you achieve your biggest dreams? If your happiness depends solely on major events as such, you wouldn't be happy quite often. Thus, the little things we do daily should be the source of real happiness. It is nothing complicated, stuffs like enjoying your morning coffee, watching the sunset, your daily jog, reading a good book, etc... Happiness is way simpler than most of us think it is.
However, keep in mind that I'm by no means hinting you to throw your dreams out of the window, not at all. In fact, I absolutely encourage you to aim as high as you could. What I'm trying to point out is being happy means being grateful for what you have. Never take anything for granted because nothing is granted in this life, and sadly, nothing lasts forever. We will never realise the importance of what we had until the moment we lose it.
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