I had a little time for vacation when my girl cousin got married last week and I was one of the bride’s maids. We also had some sort of family reunion and I can say that time was one of the best times I went back to my home town, because we had so much fun despite some restrictions because of the pandemic. And whenever I go home, I never fail to look for my cousin slash childhood friend, because we literally grew up together and he’s just months older than me. I always want to see him and know how he’s doing because I don’t see them for years. And it breaks my heart every time. He is now a father of two boys, four-year-old and two-year old adorable kids. We were so close; we always play when we were still kids.
My most fond memories of him are when we were playing rubber bands in their backyards, and when I sit in on their class when I was kinder and he was already in grade one because we have to go home together so I wait for him until he finishes his afternoon class. We had service that time but we just really have to go home together because that was what our parents know, that we would arrive together. I remember playing with him in the rain, in the the mud, with other kids our age. Most of all, I remember him always being the top student of the class. He is really smart; I can say way smarter than I maybe am. A tragedy happened that involved our family so we had to move to another province where I finished elementary school. But every vacation, we would go home and I would play with him again. They would tell us how he was the first honor, and the different contests the school would send him to despite his absences because of financial problems.
A series of heartbreaking events happened to their family which unfortunately led to him, stopping school. He stopped when he was on his third year in high school, I think. After that, he worked to help his older sister provide for their family. At 17, he became a father. My heart really broke when I heard the news. Why? Because I know very well that his priorities are no longer his dreams but his son’s. And just two years later, his second son came. I know babies are blessings, and I love my nephews so much but that’s a different story. I know my cousin have big dreams for his family and for himself but life was too hard on him.
Catriona Gray once said that it’s not poverty that kills dreams but lack of child support and I agree with her on that. In a sense that I feel like there still could be other way to help his schooling but the efforts were not made enough. And that's what was I am most regretful about. Our family is also struggling financially so I knew there was nothing we could do but I was thinking maybe his own family could have find some ways. It is so sad because he had such a bright future ahead of him. I am not saying his dreams are not possible anymore, but his dreams are no longer his. It is now for his own family, for his sons. Especially now that his eldest will start going to school. He has to work extra hard, doing construction works, to support his son’s education.
Looking back, we stopped talking. We only started talking again just last week. I have always taken the initiative to talk to him every time before but he always, always doesn’t respond. He can’t even look at me straight. I figured maybe because he is too embarrassed, which I totally understand but I always wanted him to know that there is nothing to be embarrassed about. I still see him the way I do when we were still kids, he’s still my childhood friend. I am happy my initiatives finally worked. He started to talk to me casually, he finally started showing his care again. With that, I am happy.
No matter how many years to pass, I would still feel sad and regretful for you. You were always that happy little kid but life really just has its ways we can never understand. I always wish the best for you and your family, especially your sons. For now, allow me to dream the dreams that are no longer yours.
To you who's reading this, do not give up on your dreams, please. Hold on to it tight and do everything at your best to achieve it.
For the parents, please don't kill your child's dreams and potential by not supporting them. The first person to believe and support them should be you, and should be the last to kill it as well.
Thank you for reading. :)
