Closure

I have been seeing posts lately regarding closures; that they didn't expect to receive one from a certain person or from their ex-lovers. And the effect it caused them is also unexpected, they didn't know they needed it after all those times. They never knew a simple sorry could make them feel better even though they had already moved on from whatever ending their relationship turned out to be.

It made me think, would it be same thing for me? How does it feel to actually receive an apology from the person who have hurt you the most? How does it feel when that person acknowledges that they have caused you pain, regardless if it was intentional or not?

It's not that I have not moved on from him and from whatever we had and the ending it had but sometimes I just wonder, could the pain I felt be any less had he apologized to me? Not because he couldn't love me back but because he broke our friendship so easily as if it didn't matter to him at all. As if I didn't matter to him at all, when all I did was make him happy.

Could I have moved on from him faster than it actually was had he apologized to me for not fulfilling the promises we made together? Would I be less hurt if he actually apologized for simply hurting me?

I know that sometimes we have to forgive without any apology received but at times, I just can't help but wonder. If only he had the guts to apologize to me, maybe I didn't have to go through what I went through; maybe I didn't have abandonment issues, maybe I wasn't that insecure about my looks, and about myself in general. And maybe, just maybe, we could still be friends.

I used to think that I lost him, that I lost a beautiful friendship. I feel sad and I had regrets whenever I think about it before. But I realized, I never lost him. It was never a loss when you never had it in the first place.

Remember they say that if you lost something and it came back, it's yours. But if it did not, it was never yours to begin with. They say a true love has the habit of coming back, but I believe so as friendship. A true friendship will always find its way back to you, because you will always have a special spot for special people, whether you admit it or not. You will always have it deep in you: the courage to forgive and forget, if you know they're willing to do the same for you.

With this, remind yourself that if true love has a habit of coming back, so as friendship. If a friendship is meant for you, it will always finds its way back. Be selective though, but always seek the courage to forgive and forget, it need not to be the same case for everyone but trust yourself, you'll just know for whom it is and for whom it is not. :)

Most of the times we need closure, at times we don't. But sometimes the closure we need is them back in our lives. :)

I want to sleep but I couldn't so I just decided to write this hahaha. Just Wednesday thoughts that I want to share. :)

How are you? It's been a while.

Thank you for sparing some time with this, until the next one!

-glossyberrycraze