The day I leave.

We all know we are going to die but no one knows when. It’s sad when we hear that someone we knew died, whether from a chronic illness or a quick death, knowing about someone's death always affects us.

Regardless of the fact that we all know that when we are born the most likely thing that will happen to us is that we will die, given time. Why is it so hard for us to let go of the living and accept death?

We know so little about life but much less about death. The apostle Paul says in the Bible that the true gain is in death, because it’s then that we will be with our creator.

But, even though we know that we love God and we can accept his will, we are not happy to see someone sick with death and much less to know that someone we love has died.

It doesn’t bring us any kind of happiness at the moment. Even if we try to tell ourselves that our loved one is going to meet God. On the contrary, our pain becomes unbearable and we cling to that pain and we cry every time we remember our loved ones.

We can tell ourselves that they are now in the presence of the heavenly Father, but that doesn’t take away the pain of their absence.

We as people become emotionally attached to others, we are even attached to everything material, sometimes to a degree much bigger than anything spiritual. It’s for that reason each one of us has to be attached to those we love that we find it difficult to let go in these dire circumstances.

"He was my friend, she was my partner, he was my son, she was my mother. He was very good, why did he have to die?" We will always hear these words in the worst moments.

Are the bad guys the only living beings who should die? No. At birth we all acquire the right to die, so bad or good, given time, must fulfill this part of life.

It’s our attachment that doesn’t allow us to accept that death goes hand in hand with us day by day, that we must enjoy life as best we can. Because there is no going back, there is only "the present" which means "gift".

Learning to live takes us a long time. It’s almost in our old age, when we’re old and frail, that we begin to understand a little of what life is and then we are already in the twilight of it.

But learning to live is not easy because life is an endless struggle to make achievements, to reach goals and in doing that the years go by and we don’t enjoy life. It’s after the years have passed we see how we should have gone a little slower and enjoyed life a little more.

Now that I am older I think and see that I missed many opportunities to enjoy myself because I first established many responsibilities. Now I have to stop running… but I still do it. When I have those little moments of happiness then I hold on to them tightly because it's the only thing I know I will have.

My memories of those happy moments with my loved ones, with my family, with my friends, with all those who have already left this plane and are in one we don't know.

I imagine that I am like a caterpillar and after a certain amount of time passes I will leave my cocoon become a butterfly, with big beautiful wings. I will learn to live in another place I don't know.

I am glad to know that all the butterflies I have had the pleasure of knowing all my life are fluttering before the eyes of the Supreme Being. He, who waits for us. The one who gave us his promise of seeing us again and of eternal life.

It’s these promises that make me smile when I know that my loved ones have died. May they rest in peace. Those who gave everything for their children, siblings, friends, nieces and nephews, the ones who have already gone to meet the Lord.

If I did not have the conviction of the Word, the certainty that He does not lie, my life for some years now would be very sad. I have seen so many loved ones depart. It’s this thought of eternal life that makes me happy, the thought of seeing each other again when the appointed time comes for me too.

Let us live in peace, let us live in joy, without grudges, without so much anxiety.  Let us live one day at a time, let us be happy, let us share our goods, let us live our joys. And the day I go, remember that I will be there with him. Where He promised to wait for me. That's my gain.