Finally, I Got My Husband's Attention
Every family has its own challenges and I can't believe I'm gonna share mine. I have always shared my problems with you, sorry. But I feel better every time I talk about such problems. Because I don't like to tell stories to my relatives and acquaintances, so I'll just tell it to you guys.
Often, my husband doesn't really talk much and that's one of the things I hate the most. Why? Who should I talk to? He really should be the first one I should be talking because he is my husband. But I can't really talk to him for a long time and when we talk he just listens. Should I just let it be that we aren't talking about anything clearly? Anyone will not be satisfied that while she is speaking, one is just listening without even a reaction.
Since I'm tired of being alone and talking as if no one is listening to me, so I made it so loud. And it surprised me, finally, someone heard me.
My Husband
"I don't talk, but I listens. I don't answer, but I can hear. I don't want to talk, because I'm not sure. Just give me more time because I'm working on it."
Ouch! I was thinking about of what he just replied to me. Was it a general answer for all my questions? I think so, because that's how the way he communicate with me. And I don't feel comfortable that way, by the way.
My Husband
"Why don't you just make things easy? Have fun as you do things in the house like taking care of our children. If you are tired, stop for a moment and relax. Do not get angry or upset when you are tired. No one is forcing you to finish all the tasks when you can't."
I don't know what to say, I always against of what he was saying and what he was doing everytime he's at home. I'm not feeling okay when I'm with him. I'm always exhausted especially when he's at home and I'm excited to see him going back to his work. I'm trying my best in parenting my kids, he should too. Instead of helping me pacifying the kids, he even makes the children cry and doesn't take care of them. How can I enjoy housework while taking care of the kids if he doesn’t get along well? I don't think he really understand our situation. It's so easy for him telling me those phrases but I don't really feel okay with that.
My Husband
"I can't take care of the kids for long, my patience is not long as your patience. I don't wanna hurt them. Yes, I can do what you want, I'm their father, again, just give me patience too."
There's always a way especially when you're a parent. I told him, "when the kids need you, leave your phone for a moment and give your time as a father to them." He should help me in teaching the kids a good manners, habits and so on. In short, we should raise our children together as parents.
That's it, I couldn't stop myself from talking to him. I confronted him, I want him to say anything about family. I told him that I can't feel him anymore. He's not with us because he spends most of his time on mobile games.
My Husband
"Maybe you're right, you can't feel me anymore. But you know why? Maybe because you're always spending your time too much on everything except on me. I know you're tired because of house works and kids. Take a break. What’s the value of a clean house if you’re always angry?
Oh, tough words. Suddenly, I feel awake! I was suddenly enlightened, he had a point in what he said. I guess I'm the one who's missing him.
This topic is very personal, but I'm proud to share it with you because it has lessons guys. Sometimes we were thinking negatively about our relationship with others. We thought its their fault but the truth is, we're just blind from our shortcomings.
As family, we should give and take. Love one another and throw away our toxic thinking.
