Humss <3 Stem how mathematicians write a love letter

HUMSS <3 STEM

HOW MATHEMATICIANS WRITE A LOVE LETTER

Dear Someone,

Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometric lane. There I saw you with your cute circular face, conical nose and spherical eyes, standing in your triangular garden. Before seeing you, my heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated. My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me.

The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity. I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity. You are as essential to me as an element to a set. The geometry of my life revolves around your acute personality.

My love, if you do not meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial of degree 10. With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown function.

Yours Truly,

Pythagoras.

HOW ENGLISH MAJOR WRITE A LOVE LETTER:

To the one I truly love,

As a prolific wanderer perambulating by your ascetic and humble abode, my tantalizing eyes captured the fullness and brevity of your countenance. I cannot help but be engrossed in the mesmerizing panorama of your paradisiacal visage, from your allusive almond-shaped eyes down to your impeccably sculptured nose and your bloody provocative lips, showered me as you were standing in your efflorescent conservatory.

Before seeing you, my life was meaningless like a bird endlessly flying towards an irrelevant and desolate location. However, the exiguously satiating gander of your edifying semblance fueled my once dormant feelings which motivated me to resume and live once more.

My love for you is like Captian Nemo's quest which went as deep as 20,000 leagues that even Moby Dick cannot restrain me from this love that I feel for you. My love for you extends from earth up to Asteroid B612 that neither pride nor prejudice would stir me away to substantiate my perpetual and pellucid devotion to you.

My solemn oath to you is that I would be sacrosanct, similar to how Romeo and Juliet stayed true to their love despite the rivalry between their families. You are the unstressed syllable that would complete a stressed syllable like me, together we iamb-perfectly. Your voice has the same sound as the beat of my heart, our synchronized tune creates a perfectly imperfect rhyme. The exposition of your bountiful beauty starts the rising action of my undying feeling which resulted in this climax of faith in the hopes that your heart would be falling action for me thus it would result to the denouement of "WE".

My love, it would be straightforward to ask for your hand in marriage but to simply grace me with your presence at Sonnet Cafe would be a delightful treat to my destitute heart. With the paramount sincerety of thy resolute and fathomless love for you.

Eternally yours,

Shakespeare.