The Question is How to Love yourself?

A friend of mine told me he was looking for a meaningful job, he mentioned ideas such as a job on an oil rig in the North Sea and a job at the post office, but he didn't seem enthusiastic. had similar concerns about themselves.Andre and I shared a love of self-improvement, so we met at coffee shops to listen, ask questions, and find out things.

Taking time to reflect on his motivations, André realized that the pressure from society, family and friends to work full-time and declare a "decent" job was stressing him out. I was. He could see his human gratification mechanisms in action, and he could feel himself trying to win the approval of those around him, but this friction seemed increasingly wrong. felt.

A shot of Andre and the real Andre.

Andre's habit of making decisions about his life to avoid being banished was perfectly normal. Childhood consists of many moments where we choose to survive by obedience. Another option is to kick yourself out.

To challenge these deep internal assumptions about survival, Andre began a small experiment.At a social gathering, when another family friend asked Andre if he had found a job, Andre replied that he I resisted the usual urge to list acceptable jobs I could apply for (but not apply for) and said "no" instead. A sense of despair ran through Andre's body when he said those words. That feeling was familiar when conversing with people who criticized him, but this time Andre felt a little stronger, just a little stronger.

So he started experimenting further. He told his girlfriend for the first time that he didn't want to go to the party.But when she got upset and insisted, he relented.When Andre gave in, he felt a difference in his body and it The next time he tried to stay home and devour a good book instead of going to a raucous party, he did so despite his girlfriend's wrath. Then Andre survived a rough patch and when he dared to be himself in a way that went against his girlfriend's expectations, she realized she didn't really like him and they broke up. Continuing the experiment resulted in a slight increase in power and a decrease in his division. He dared to stand up for himself in more situations and different relationships.

Years have passed. Andre's experiment got bigger. He asked his father to take him to counseling and his father said yes. Andre had moved to a bigger city and he was looking for a community where he could learn about relationships based on what he wanted. He felt good for his body and mind, so he volunteered for a meditation retreat to learn and find peace. He tested himself in a profession that suited him and challenged him at the same time, becoming more and more successful and happy in what he loved.André's horizons also broadened. His goals have grown. As he grew up, his perspective changed. He always has another dream, another tractor He beams, deeper immersion, closer connection, much more to learn and love. As André's experiments piled up, he got better at asking himself what he wanted and hearing his own answers.Little by little, he fell in love with himself.

The most important romance in our lives is the relationship we see in the mirror every day.

If there's one magic elixir that lifts us out of the quagmire of what we think is bad in our lives and puts us in a better place, it's a change in how we see ourselves. It is an internal work at the hypocenter. You can find something by investing in yourself and your relationship. Because that relationship is not optional.

We can't live without a relationship with ourselves, so why not prioritize everything we have to make that relationship special and rewarding?

One of the main reasons we stop investing in ourselves is that breaking the early thought patterns we've grown accustomed to as children and young adults can be very difficult to survive. Another reason is that you tell yourself your situation is too overwhelming to handle. All of this is certainly understandable. So changing degrees once and making slightly different decisions is enough to ignite a spark of power. Open your mouth and tell the truth a little more. In the morning when your eyes are sad and your hair is electric and you feel the only thing in your life I don't know, give yourself the gift of looking at your eyes in the mirror . smile.

yeah yeah know. This may sound silly and nonsensical. Yet successful romances started with less. A love story with two main characters is not a one-plus-one progression. A happy ending comes when the number protagonist learns to love himself. Each protagonist goes through a process of finding ways to better understand, appreciate, and accept themselves. This is the basis of true love for one another.
The life you want to live goes hand in hand with the small decisions you make every day to love yourself and be yourself. In the room, in the car, in the bus, in the doctor's office, at work, unemployed, in the library, flipping through books, flushing the toilet, staring at empty kitchen cupboards, checking the mail. . Every little part of you deserves more love in every moment.