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Dream analysis on a rainy day

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Written by   205
7 months ago

This morning I woke up with the sun and of course, turned around and carried on sleeping. If I could get paid for sleeping, I would be very rich by now!

Soon after I got up, the weather changed from a lovely sunny morning to a windy, stormy afternoon and evening. Just like my dreams.

I remember dreaming 2 dreams. In one I had a new boyfriend and things were looking rather exciting. No wonder I wanted to dream some more. Who doesn't love new, exciting adventures, hey?

The dream I woke up to was not all that exciting. It was a combination of my childhood memories entangled with 'The bold type' series and read.cash!

What a mixture! 

So the memory my dream was referring to is the one where my Polish language teacher gave me a B grade, for an essay that was more likely an A* worthy, because the language I had used was not appropriate to my age. She assumed I committed an act of plagiarism, because a child of my age (I think I was 13 or so) ‘could not write like this’. She couldn't find a source, which I apparently copied, but she announced her verdict in front of the whole class anyway. I was utterly embarrassed and I guess what I had learned from this experience is that being really good at something only puts you in trouble. Best to pretend to be just average and get along with everyone else. 

I recently revisited this memory, while writing an article for another website. The impression this left on my subconscious mind was evident. I might have pulled a deep root of my self-sabotage - or so I wish to think. Dreams are often very helpful in clearing old programming as well as viewing the patterns we repeat in our lives which lead us to certain, undesirable outcomes. 

In my dream, I have written an article, but when I first started writing it, I had planned for it to be very short, so I started writing it as a short post. Then it grew to the size of an article, but I kept it as a short post. This part is more knowing, rather than seeing it in the dream. What I see is myself, walking away pissed off, because Oliver (the gay/bi black stylist from ‘The bold type’ I watched recently) gave me a shitty ‘grade’ for my article and he explained that the grade was low, because I wrote it as a short post. 

‘Can’t you see that it’s 11 pages long?’ I scream at him, while walking away. 

That’s when I woke up. I like remembering my dreams. It’s fascinating to see how my mind operates and makes sense of the events happening in my life. I mean... It did a great job of putting it all into perspective for me. 

This is how I analyse it. 

There is this childhood memory which clearly blocks me from writing. My teacher in this memory is replaced by Oliver, who is a mentor and a friend to Sutton - one of the main characters in the series. In my dream therefore he represents a person or people who I admire and/or look up to and their unjust judgement of me. I appear to be very disappointed, because I have done more than I was asked for. I wrote this beautiful, 11 pages long article and I was hoping that my mentor would see through my efforts, but he is still limited by the conventions and gives me low grades, because I wrote all this as a short post. 

What I see by analysing this dream is that… I’m a weirdo! I laugh at my friend for waiting for a knight on a white horse to come and save her, while I behave exactly the same, just not when it comes to romantic relationships, but in other parts of my life. So here it comes… hypocrisy at its best!

See in my Universe, I look at everything as a reflection of myself, a mirror. I could never quite see the picture so clearly when I looked at my friend. I wondered what I am missing and where do I behave just like her and this dream came to my aid. Pretty much the same with the hypocrisy, which I observe often in others and today I managed to finally connect some dots. 

Usually, I would keep these very intimate notes and observations in my locked away diary, so nobody can see it. Today I am doing the opposite, because this way I am also healing the part of myself that is ashamed of other people’s judgement of me. That part which doesn’t want to be laughed at in front of the whole class. That little girl who cries and kicks off whenever I try doing anything like this. The one who looks up to  (I don’t really know who) for validation. The one who’s waiting for a knight on white horse who will come and RECOGNISE my value. 

Today I choose to be my own knight. I don’t need anyone to tell me that my writing is good enough. I know this. I always knew this. I also always really enjoyed both: reading and writing. 

So here’s to my new beginning. I am extremely grateful for finding read.cash and the amazing opportunity for writers that it is. I am also grateful for you, who reads this and I would love to hear your thoughts in the comment section.

Now that I’ve seen and recognised my reflections, there is a whole new path ahead of me 💙

My new path awaits

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Written by   205
7 months ago
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Comments

Dreams, well I don't dream much, but if I do they tend to be something similar to yours haha. Healing by exposure, well it works for some. I must admit to being a listener and keeping all my thoughts and emotions locked up in my big box. And your writing is from the heart, so that is always good, but of course you knew this already. I ain't no knight today.

$ 0.05
5 months ago

Hahaha! You do make me laugh Ed.

I never expected this many people to read my stuff. It was easier to start while having anonymous audience, who thought I must be bonkers! Now that I started I just write more and it gets easier.

$ 0.05
5 months ago

now your not so anonymous audience knows you are bonkers, but aren't we all!

$ 0.00
5 months ago

I was being paid while sleeping but it didn't make me rich.lol! Just for fun I only need my devices and internet running. "Honeygain" :) Back to dreaming because of too much watching fairytales during childhood I recalled now that used to dream of being a "damsel in distress" waiting for my knight. now that I read what you wrote it makes me laughed and smiled because the things happened in my dreams is so vague but whenever I woke up end up only remember a damsel in distress and a knight. Ah! My subconscious but don't really know what this means. Somehow my ideal man is my father only. :)

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6 months ago

Lol! For many girls dad is their ideal. Subconscious mind is the part of the brain that runs your life and your body without you realising it. So it governs all your organs and processes in your body, like breathing, pumping blood etc. It learns your habits and emotional responses, so for example you don’t need to think about how to walk or hold a pen, because you’ve learned it when you were little. It just a brief description, but it’s our powerhouse 💙

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6 months ago

Dreaming is sometimes an art. Do you know why? Because there are events that is too ridiculous. There are also times that we become an actress, artist or even a beggar.

$ 0.01
6 months ago

Lol! That's funny. I find dreams fascinating. The more we observe them the more we can learn about ourselves 💙

$ 0.00
6 months ago

Yeah that is also true. One thing I hate about dreams is that when I wake up I totally cannot recall what my dream was.. Have you experienced that?

$ 0.01
6 months ago

Funny you should say that. Yes, I was actually writing about it this morning. This time last year I had a dreams notebook and every morning I was writing them down. Recently I can't recall most of my dreams, although I know I had a 'busy' night, because I can feel them when I wake up and during the day I sometimes stop and 'feel' that dream, but I can't remember nothing. I'm not even sure if I'm making any sense here.

Anyway... yes, I am trying to think about how to get the memories of my dreams back. I used to meditate more last year, but not so much this year, so probably it's time to get back to those good habits.

$ 0.00
6 months ago

First of all: I think we talk/write about the things we need to learn ourselves. It's a kind of "self therapy". Today someone told me not to expect much from Read.Cash cz they only support the articles about Bitcoins. But I really don't care, I like to write. As for needing ppl to recognize your work, sure, everyone likes it. But most ppl don't really take the time to read and understand, to FEEL. Somehow strangers click, the Energy connects and we find someone that might understand... that's Precious. But most of all, hang on to that thought: You Are your own Knight in Shinning Armour. That's the most amazing gift you can give to yourself ❤️❤️ Again, I like your writting. I give you a A++++++++

$ 0.00
7 months ago

Well, its more of a subconscious belief/block rather than something I realised before,... I realised 😅 It only became evident to me after analysing the dream I had that day.

Ahh yes, I've heard a lot about this too. Part of the reason why I started writing here was to see if the rumours were true, but it's not the case in my experience and from what I can observe around me.

And yes again... I have met so many fantastic, creative people in a last year or so, It's truly magical 💙

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7 months ago

I also dream a lot. There are few people who can remember their dream. I can remember. Not for long but I can too. Like I dreamt something good but I wish I didn't dream that. And I dream a lot. Almost everyday. But many people say they don't dream and if the dream rarely, they can't remeber. It's a blesaing to remember our dreams😅😅

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7 months ago

I agree that it's a blessing Jihan. I think everyone dreams, they just don't remember. I sometimes can and other times I can't. I think if we pay attention to the dreams, we can remember more. I find it fascinating, cause it's like looking into that part of our brain which we can not see usually. Thank you for stopping by and reading 💙

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7 months ago

I have seen some people who claimed them can control their dream as well. I think it's related to our dominance on the subconcious mind.

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7 months ago

That is interesting indeed. I heard of lucid dreaming, not sure if that’s what you’re referring to? 💙

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7 months ago

may be the one where the dreamer is aware whats hapening and also can control. Also there are profetive dreams. Those are the once which comes true

$ 0.00
7 months ago

Ahh, I see. I love hearing other people’s stories about their dreams. I have a few repetitive ones. I think dreams are fascinating 🧐

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7 months ago

I am very lucky that I dream. And I get to say the people who are not in my life now also😅😅

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7 months ago

Wow! That’s wonderful indeed. I’ve never dreamt of anyone who passed away. I would love to.

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7 months ago

Not only passed away, but also those who are not with us. Like some friends who got apart😅😅.I have dreamt of my dead aunt. Only one time I dreamt of a person who is dead..

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7 months ago

Ahh.. I see! That part I experienced many times too. Even some very old friends whom I haven't seen for many years. Our brains store everything :)

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7 months ago

Yeah.... Unexpected but happens a lot actualy😆😆 sometimes it makes my mood off. I mean I become sad remembering the good old past

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7 months ago

I know what you mean Jihan. Some dreams can be disturbing and can put you in various moods. I guess that's why I had to write this article, cause this dream wouldn't leave me alone 😅

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7 months ago