@eve 23 August 2020

regrets!

In my 36 years of existence in this world. ***I am a failure!*** ***I failed to be an obedient daughter*** ***I failed to be a brilliant student.*** ***I failed to be a supportive friend.*** ***I failed to be a suitable partner.*** ***I failed to be an exemplary mother.*** ***I failed to be a good citizen in my country.*** When I was a child, my parents told me to obedient because they will never ask me to do things that might harm me as a person. As I become a teenager most of the time all I want is to be alone. I never talked to my parents of what I feel about the things that they want me to do.I became rebellious in a way that it come to a point that they know me at all. Most of the time I keep arguing with them with no valid reason that causes them so much heartache. ***I disobey them and that is the biggest regret in my life!*** As a student, I am just an ordinary with thoughts in my mind that a not failing grade is ok for me. I never give extra time to excel as a student. That's why when I graduated and looking for a job there are a lot of applicants who excel well in their school I always at the bottom of there choices. ***I regret those times that I am just comfortable with my grades and not prioritizing enough to excel in school.*** I am not a friendly type of person most of the time all I want is to be alone, that's why I only have few friends but I must say that they are a true treasure in my life. They are always there to accept all my shortcomings and support me in anything that I want in life, but most of the time I don't appreciate the things that they have done to me. In there most needed time to have a friend I was not there but they always understand my situation that's why I treasure them so much. ***I regret most of the time that I am not with them when they need me.*** I am separated from my husband for more than a decade now we have children. I was too young and selfish to understand that my ex-husband needs a supportive partner. Most of the time when he made a wrong decission in our life I keep nagging him that cause our big fight until he hits me a lot of time that cause trauma in my life and the reason why I got separated from him. ***If I learn how to be suitable with him maybe we are a complete family now, and its added in the list of my regrets in my life.*** As a mother, I was trying my best to be a good example with them but how can I do that when we are a broken family. How can I be a good example if I let my own family and my children live separately? ***Regrets that give so much pain in my children not to be a good example with them on how to become a good partner with there father.*** Because I failed to become a good daughter, student, friend, partner,that's why I am not a good citizen in my country because as a good citizen I must be good enough with the people. ***Failures and regrets are somehow connected with each other in my life.*** ***If I failed I regret it but the best part of it I learn from my failures and do my very best to become the best version of myself self so if failures come again I will not regret it because I did my very best not fail!*** I really hope someone will understand my article.