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When a man or a woman became parents, one of the hardest parts of being one is how to keep your child on the right path as they grow. Most people will say, all parents just wanted the best for their kids, but honestly, sometimes it isn't true all the time. Sometimes the best that they want often leads to confusion and will even lead them in the wrong way.
Each parent under their roof has their parenting styles. I was raised by my father and he wasn't strict with me. Though, he always gave and sets boundaries for me to follow. As his child, I understood his struggles in raising my brother and me, all alone. Though my brother can't see it nor understand why.
As I became a mom, and a parent I do have my parenting style. Guiding your kids as they grow is truly hard, we parents are responsible for molding them and guide them to the right path in life.
I believe in that saying, however, it's also good to take some advice from other experienced parents. So, as I became a mom, I joined various groups about parenting and first-time moms to pick some ideas and read some of their parenting stories. As a member, I'm fond to be a “silent reader”. Though I sometimes commenting on posts I can relate to.
I've read some real stories from real experiences about parenting. And what I learned was, there's no such thing as perfect parenting, you can't be a perfect parent, though, you can always be a good one. You will see that not all children are bad and at the same time, you'll learn that not all parents are good.
We can't deny the fact that our parents were our first teachers. They were the ones who taught us good deeds,
A child's attitude or behavior is also a reflection of how they've been treated and attended by their parents. What a child learns or experiences in their early years will leave a lasting impression on them. This is why good parenting is an absolute necessity.
Oftentimes, people believed that bad children are the result of bad parenting. Bad parenting is one of the reasons for unruly kids, with bad manners, toxic or bad parenting can be damaging most especially in the younger years of the children.
But how can you determine a bad parent? How do you assume whether or not someone is a bad parent?
There are a lot of things that we consider “bad”, it can be both physically and emotionally or more than that. From physical and emotional abuse, neglect, or harassment. Bad parenting isn’t specified to a single deed only, but it is a collection of these acts, acts that are usually what contributes to an unhealthy effect on the child. Most poor parenting may not be intentional. And as a parent, honestly, you won't sometimes see that you're upbringing of your child is in a wrong manner, unless you'll notice that there is something that can be seen in the actions of your child.
In my own experience as a parent, I sometimes asked myself before,
Am I a bad parent?
Caring and staying at home alone with kids is very challenging. There were times where I can't control my temper, and it gives me stress, however, at the end of the day, I always try to reflect on what I've done.
Sometimes, bad parenting might a result from lack of apathy, or parents are not mindful of the outcomes of these actions and some might not even care. Some several actions and incidences could make you a bad parent. Here are some indications of bad parenting that you should prevent and avoid.
When your child commits a mistake, no matter how big or small it is, always correct them more reasonably. Scolding them is normal however, too much scolding or reprimanding them won't help them to understand why you are mad, instead, it will hurt your child. Though you just only want to correct them and expect them to follow you, the result won't turn out as you expected.
Disciplining your Child in Front of Everyone
“Defend them in public, Correct them in Private.”
I've read this quote just a few days ago, I'm not sure of the caption, however, I get the point. Children may sometimes display their bad behaviors in public which is very challenging. It's hard to stay calm when your child acts inappropriately, but try to remember that she likely means no harm towards others. They're not aware that their actions are impolite, or not appropriate in a situation. Avoid scolding him in front of others it will let him feel ashame of himself, or it may affect your child negatively. This will have a serious impact on your child’s confidence, talk to him nicely, have patience, and let him understand that what he's doing isn't right.
All Advice and No Encouragement
“This should be like this, not like that!”
“That's not right, it should be like this!”
Some parents just want their children to grow according to their will. Giving suggestions when he engaged in mistakes or advice about something they want their child to achieve, but sometimes forget one of the most significant components in upbringing their child, to encourage them. A child, to have the courage and be motivated, needs to be encouraged and supported properly. If you just give him pure advice but lacking support and encouragement, nothing will happen, unless he will help himself to move.
Children need to feel that they are loved, that they are cared for. Though some parents aren't showy of their feelings, still, children need attention and care. Withdrawing affection because a child does not do what they are told causes similar harm. These types of behaviors can cause a child to have low self-esteem and low confidence, which can result in a child not expressing their wants and needs
Not Setting Rules: Little or No Discipline
Children who have little or no discipline are left to watch over themselves, which can result in harm and also creates a child who does not understand limitations. Children need to be shaped and guided as they take the right path in life. They need boundaries and structure to grow up into better individuals.
Some parents do not allow their child to explore their world. Sometimes they don't want their children to show off their skills because it's not appropriate for what they want their child to become in the future. Which often leads to a child who becomes fearful and anxious or rebellious.
Over or Under Involvement
Neglectful parents fail to give attention to their child's needs beyond the basic needs. It can affect the child emotionally, physically, or psychologically. While there are neglectful parents, there's also a so-called, over the involved parent. These parents make the most of control of their kids. Sometimes they overact and hold the decision for their children, which can also cause more harm than good and hindering children from discovering by doing.
You always tell your child that he/she should be like other children and copy their positive traits. This is also a sign of bad parenting. Comparing your child to other children may impact them negatively, which constantly leads to resentment or jealousy against the child you compare him with.
Now that you have an idea about the signs of bad parenting, you have the power and control of your actions as a parent. It's good also to know that there's a big difference between bad parenting and a “bad moment” as a parent. A single bad day doesn’t make you a bad parent, doing the best you can and doesn’t imply that your child will never struggle or have troubles.
Being a parent is very challenging and I can't deny the fact that most parents have both positive and negative parenting traits. Being a parent is emotionally challenging too. It’s also a huge obligation that needs patience, consistency, love, kindness, and understanding. Parents aren't perfect, but they can always choose to be good ones.