Recipe for Self-love

People are occupied every day, with duties, responsibilities, and day-to-day habits in life. Most of the time, when we're being too tough on ourselves because we're pushed by a desire to be better and do everything right, all the time. Also, we are busy giving love and care for our loved ones, for our children, family, friends, which isn't wrong at all. However, while we are busy preparing for tomorrow, we frequently forget one thing, to love our self.

We often forgot to attend to our well-being and happiness because we are busy caring and giving happiness to others. Self-love means a lot to us, for ourselves. It's a relatively crucial part of life wherein we must also take care of our own needs and will not sacrifice our well-being just to please others. There'll be instances in life that we must think of ourselves first and won't settle for less than we deserve. We often believe and say that we do love ourselves, and yet our actions and reactions imply contrariwise.

“Self-love is not selfish; you cannot truly love another until you know how to love yourself.”

If you think of it as being selfish, then you're wrong. Loving yourself isn't bad, it isn't being selfish but it is one of the keys to your growth. To love someone else, you need to love yourself first. Loving yourself means to understand and appreciate yourself better and deeper, it isn't a state of feeling good but it is more than that. A self-love is a vital tool that will positively affect every single aspect of your life.

Recipe for Self-love

As a mom, I need to stay focused and keep my strengths to attend to my family's needs. And I'm guilty of neglecting myself sometimes. Knowing that self-love is one of the pillars to regain my strengths and attention. Let's all together fall in love with ourselves once again. And show the world that loving ourselves is something magical. Come on and take a sip of this recipe, a recipe with a spell that can't be shattered.

A mist of Encouragement

Life can be difficult sometimes, uhm.. maybe not sometimes but most of the time. Disappointments, mistakes, missteps all are natural parts of being human. Everybody wants to be encouraged. Many may receive encouragement from someone, from the people who truly care, however, if there's no one out there to encourage you, it's now your turn to do it for you.

There are a lot of ways to encourage yourself. You can do it, and start it right away. Give yourself must of encouragement by simply talking to yourself, telling yourself you can. Reading and jotting down positive and inspirational statements on your journal or notes and read them every time you feel discouraged.

“Talk to yourself like talking to a friend; encourage yourself, praise yourself, and always remind yourself that you are powerful enough to overcome all the challenges that you will encounter in the future.”

- Matt Morris, CPCC, Positive Thinking

One tablespoon of Forgiveness

All of us make mistakes at times. Forgive the people who hurt you, forgive them even though they're not sorry. Be forgiving, let your heart feel serenity once again. Forgiveness of self impacts a change in how we sight ourselves. Instead of feeling a lot of guilt, embarrassment, and anger toward yourself, start to replace those feelings with empathy, compassion, understanding, and love toward yourself. Forgive yourself for your past mistakes. Forgive yourself for settling for less sometimes. Accept what has happened and show kindness and tenderness to yourself. You're just a human being after all. You aren't perfect, we aren't perfect.

“Forgive yourself for what you think you’ve done or not done. At every moment, you had your reasons for all of your actions and decisions. You’ve always done the best that you could do. Forgive yourself.”

-Doreen Virtue

A few pinches of Hopes

If your hopes were missing self-blame is always present. When you don’t have hope, you have no energy or courage or any effort to change your situation. Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future. Hope can come in many different shapes and forms. Hope reflects our understandings of our capabilities to conceptualize our goals, and how to develop the specific strategies to reach those goals, and begin and strengthen the motivation for using those techniques. Even putting hopes for a better tomorrow is such a big help for yourself. Set your goals, believe in yourself, find a clear path and do what you know you can do.

“The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof.”

-Barbara Kingsolver

A dash is Self-compassion

Be gentle to yourself, be kind, and understand yourself better, accept that you aren't perfect. You may fail sometimes and feel worthless about your errors in life, however, you don't need to suffer, neglect your feelings nor criticize yourself. Things will not always go the way you want them to. Having compassion for oneself is certainly no different than having compassion for others. Have compassion for others, start to have compassion for yourself too. Offer understanding and kindness to others when they fail or make mistakes, rather than judging them harshly. The same must go for yourself. Don't be a self-critic of your mistakes, instead, understand and recognize your mistakes and learn from them.

“You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”

-Louise L. Hay

One cup of Self-acceptance

Accept yourself as a whole, no matter if you have straight, curly, wavy, damaged, frizzy, or silky hair. It doesn't matter if your complexion isn't fair, or uneven. It doesn't matter if you have stretch marks, a belly button, huge legs, or a skinny body. Accept yourself for who and what you are, before you want someone to accept you, you need to accept yourself first. Accept your flaws, acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses, you ain't perfect dear, and it's okay. Don't try to change yourself for someone else's, instead be better for your growth as a person. Accept and understand your limitations and always be kind to yourself. It's time to accept the fact that no one judges you more than you judge yourself. Accepting oneself is one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves.

“When you stop living your life based on what others think of your real-life begins. At that moment, you will finally see the door of self-acceptance opened.”

-Shannon L. Alder

A pinch of Gratitude

Practicing gratitude helps our body to think and feel more positively. Always be grateful for what you have in life and for the things around you. Appreciate every happening in your life may it be good or bad. Be grateful for the people who helped you even in small ways. Thank them, be appreciative of them. Don't forget yourself too, practice self-gratitude, thank yourself for keeping and doing what is right. Thank yourself for not quitting challenges and for overcoming them. Congratulate yourself for defeating obstacles and for having the courage to face them. Saying thank you and showing your gratitude to someone or yourself has a huge impact on your life.

“In ordinary life, we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich.”

-Dietrich Bonhoeffer

A teaspoon of Positivity

Be positive! How many times did you hear or read these words? Me, for a hundred times maybe. We always hear these words as encouragement from somebody who wants us to keep motivated. And it works, being positive and looking at the brighter side of life is very significant if you want to have a peaceful and meaningful life. When life throws hard stones at you, and you can't move them easily instead of wasting your energy trying to get rid of them, try to make use of them. The problems we faced and will be facing carries a lesson for us to reflect on. Just like the old saying goes, “Everything happens for a reason”. Positive thinking isn’t a spell that instantly makes all of your problems vanish. However, what it will do is make your problems seem more manageable. It will let you handle difficulties well more favorably and productively. Be optimistic of yourself, believe that you can do it.

“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.”

-Willie Nelson

Loving yourself is necessary to your personal development, to the completion of your dreams, and to develop healthy, happy relationships and life with others. Start to fall in love again with yourself. Learn to love yourself, care as much about yourself as you do for others.

“You are morally obliged to take care of yourself. You should take care of, help, and be good to yourself the same way you would take care of, help, and be good to someone you loved and valued.”

-Jordan Peterson

Written by: @eommaZel ✍🏻🥀

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