Every Child Needs to be Heard

Young children need support and to be nurtured by their parents, or from some people to grow up as a good individual. And we, when we were still young and fresh, we were molded by our parents through taking care of us, instilling family traditions and beliefs, and correcting every misstep we took.

Some parents are very supportive of their children most especially when it comes to ambition or dreams. Yet some didn't completely care about their son or daughter's dream in life.

“You need to graduate so you can build a house for me and your mom.”

“You have to take this course, so when you got a job you will earn a higher salary so you can help and save us from being poor.”

Those are just some examples of how other parents raising their kids. Instilling on their minds that they must repay their parents by getting a nice job with a higher income after they graduated. It's not unusual nowadays, I've encountered some of these scenarios before.

But is it necessary to raise and bring up that mindset with your child?

A child needs better education, needs further assistance, and plenty of understandings. As they are developing into an adult individual they need better viewpoints in life. Was it the parents' responsibility to raise their children and provide them their needs and let them have and enjoy a better life?

When a child is born, didn't you cry a little seeing your precious little angel who half percent looks like you and the other half percent is your significant other?

But why when they turned into youths, you'll pressure them and control their whole life by commanding everything you wanted for them and yourself.

I know some parents will say, they just wanted the best for their children, but I wonder if they ever tried to ask their children and get their opinions and thoughts about, what's best for them?

It's not wrong to dream for your child, you wish him success after his graduation and hope for him to land a decent and well-paid job. The huge salary the better, but never replace your child with money. Don't be blinded by wealth.

Children, just like you are beings that need to be heard. They have feelings too, and as youths, they are more vulnerable as they are hurt easily and conclude things quickly. Some of them won't speak what they truly feel, while some are vocal with their dreams. But both need support and a mind full of compassion.

Never silence your child and let them speak for themselves. Listen, open your heart and broaden your mind and let them say what they truly desire and aspire, let them dream for their own.

It's a heavy feeling when you are doing things that are against your will. I know, you're familiar with that feeling and I guess you don't want your child to suffer that kind of sentiment. You'll never know how much pressure you gave your child every time you're over-controlling them.

I was once a kid who never enjoyed that freedom, a freedom to speak for me, to express what I truly feel. Whenever there's a family reunion, I was always by my uncles and aunts told to be like this, to be like that, and I have no choice but to nod my head at everything they say and put a smile on my face just to satisfy them.

Because if I will go against their will I will be reprimanded.

It's never easy and I suffered deep inside. It feels like there's a heavy feeling inside of me that I can't clearly understand. And I am thankful it never brought me any resentment against my elders today. Regardless of that, I was raised and chose to have respect for them and the people around me.

But not all children are like me, some could turn into monsters as they grow old, not because of the parents but because the child chooses it to become one. And lack of active listening could trigger that too.

Now that I am a parent and have children of my own, I make sure to understand my kids even not fully but somehow listening to them works well. I have a dream for them but I dream that one day they will reach what they truly want in life. And me, I am doing my best to give them a good life so they could never experience hardships just like what I'd experienced.

Even young, adults and anyone needs to be respected. And I believe that if you respect someone you will be respected too. Even your son, daughter, niece, or nephew, even they're younger than you they are humans too that need to be respected.

My dear fellow parents, let your children dream and have a desire when they grow old. You don't have to control them, if you know you raised your child very well they will have the willingness to repay you in the future. Do not pressure them of the things that you wanted mostly for yourself. Don't be selfish and let them explore on their own.

We, parents, are blessed to have them in life so let us be a blessing for them too.

Guide them, nurture them, love, support, and listen to them it's not that hard right?

I am not a perfect mom, but I am compassionate with my kids. I know they are still young and delicate. So I'm trying to be a good mom for them. I chose to be good rather than perfect because there is no such thing as perfect parents for me, each one of us has our flaws but we can always choose to be good, as a parent and as a person.

I know some parents are too busy in life, but never forget to make time with your child, you might never know s/he's longing for your attention and time. Put down that phone or that computer and have a small talk, and always check on your child's accomplishments and disappointments. Open your ears but open your mind and heart as well.

It won't be like this always but it could be in some circumstances, that children will listen to you only if they feel they were heard too. So listen to your children while they're young and while you can. You'll never know but that simple thing they might want to tell you is everything to them.

Written by: @eommaZel ✍🏻🥀