April 3, 2021

Saturday

It's a bright Saturday morning and everything is calm. The sky is clear and serene. I'm just making my day extra lighter today. Last night, I'm done with some of my tasks, I posted one on noise.cash. Out of nowhere, I just think of the times where I felt very hopeless, it was during my childhood.

Not all people recognized your good deeds, but should they be recognized?

People constantly see the wrong ones than the positive, maybe that's how many people look at others and it's inevitable. Some people say life is a race but for me, it isn't. Life is what we will do today and for the future. Our life in the future is the result of our choices and chosen paths. We don't need to hurry, we don't need to compete. If we need so, I believe that our first worst enemy is just ourselves.

Did you ever hate yourself?

I honestly did, that's when I find life is worthless and full of distress. People looked at me like they know my story very well. They never thought I struggled a lot just to be okay. But then, they don't need to know it. It's my life and I should be the one to fix it. When I learned to appreciate the life that I have, I became a hopeful person. Honestly, it isn't easy to be positive all the time. And too much positivity isn't healthy, I always believed that. It may lead to overreacting and jumping to conclusions easily.

I was born petite, skin and bones with dull hair. When I was a kid, I was not bullied, but I was laughed about by some children of my age. When I thought I was the most unfortunate girl in town, I had my life miserable. Poor self-esteem and letting people throw jokes on me. I grew up in a broken family, raised by my father until I grow into a lady. At first, I was blaming myself for the life that I have. I even questioned God, why of all people, it happened to me and my family? My life was full of unanswered questions until now. But maybe it's best to remain that way.

When I aged, I learned that I'm very much lucky than the others. I have a loving father who never failed to care for us. I have huge respect for him. Later I realized he was so brave to face the responsibility all by himself. Now that I'm a parent, I now understand their hardships. It isn't easy to raise a child, it takes a lot of patience, dedication, love, care, and a bag full of understanding.

When I thought I'm so unhealthy because of my shape, so skinny, I just realize I am healthier than the other teens around me. I just realized that other people's opinion on me doesn't certainly matter. Some may give good advice because they truly care, but some just want to see you miserable. And I chose to accept all the flaws in me and my life. I might grow from a broken family, I'm still fortunate to have a parent to take care of me, was able to attain education, eat complete meals a day, wore plain decent clothes.

I may be petite and skinny, I must be thankful I don't need to go for a diet. That regardless of it, I'm still strong and have no sickness. All I need to do now is to take care of it, but sometimes I am very guilty of neglecting it. But I'm doing what I can d just to keep a healthy body and mind. My dull hair, it's just temporary, the beauty can be covered. I don't need to be the most most beautiful woman just to find someone who will accept me. But of course, it's also good to be presentable not for the people around but for yourself. If you feel beautiful, deep inside your confidence was boosted and you'll get higher self-esteem.

Just remember, that no matter what other people tell you negatively, should not affect you as a whole. Don't live on their opinions and beliefs. They are not responsible for the life you're making, it is you who's accountable for it. Do you need to be influenced by them? No. You shouldn't be and you don't have to recognize them. If you are true to yourself and knows yourself very well, their statements will never matter.

Learn to appreciate first yourself, accept your flaws, and face life with confidence. If society won't accept you, you shouldn't be miserable for it. Though it's hard and tough to face, you must be the one who will recognize yourself first, your inner desires, and your purposes.

So choose to be flawsome!

You can always be awesome regardless of your flaws. That dark pigments on your skin, that dull or bald hair, that teary eyes, that soft heart is never a problem. But because we're living and people are intellectual but envious beings, you may be victimized by the harsh society. But that shouldn't stop you from processing, don't let them impede you to be prosperous one day. Let them laugh, let them tell their opinions but never let them influence you.

You can do revenge but could it make you happier? Could it change what was done?

While you can always forgive, and choose to let the hard feelings go and ignore them. Keep going and if it makes you happy never regret it. If you have failed to learn from it, there are so many happenings in life, you may found yourself buried in the dark but you may not recognize it, you're being planted to be a better individual.

You don't need to force yourself to do things that you don't like just to be recognized and accepted. If society can't accept you for being you, you can make your “own” world and live in paradise. Then if you're ready to face the real world, face the world with kindness and morale. It's not wrong being yourself, your flaws make you amazing just hug it right and learn to dance with them.

Embrace your flaws, shortcomings, and weaknesses. We are all full of flaws but you can always choose to be awesome. Don't mind the negativities around and keep your light shining.

Written by: @eommaZel ✍🏻🥀