But there is no reaction in Bara Apar. She is quietly changing her sari and picking up the sticky plates left by the guests. She is doing it with so much attention that it is her job in this world. Looking upwards, it was as if his own picture suddenly floated in front of his eyes. I am also getting older. Twenty-two touches. Rakib has to press for hours for marriage. The people of the neighborhood make fun of their mother and father three times a day and make fun of Dubon, everything comes to his ears. I keep quiet. Sometimes I think I would run away whenever I got a chance. But I can't go. Think of the big upper days.

The big upper name was not mentioned. Her name is Bilkis. The age is about to cross thirty-two. I have been seeing him for the last few years, one after another the recipients are coming to see him with friends and relatives. Then he ate it comfortably and fled with some money in his upper hand. Every time the father tries to organize a fair sort of foolish thing so that no one criticizes the hospitality and breaks up the marriage. But the recipients may have understood the right opportunity by listening to people's faces. In the name of seeing the girl, one by one, they ate and passed.

Sometimes these are not tolerated. Deliberately, I put the bowl-filled food in their throats at once. Can't for the upper. Dad thinks, this time the marriage will be perfect. And I look at the expressions on people's faces and think, I'm starving. But Apa probably doesn't think anything of it.

I heard my mother's voice from the next room. I stood beside the door with soft feet. Mother is crying and wiping her eyes on the hem of the sari. Whose daughter's marriage is broken, Bidhata may not have any other option but to cry. Budd is hesitant to go inside the house. If my mother thinks of me, she cries again!

But to my surprise, my mother gestured for me to go inside. I quietly went to bed and sat facing the window. The reason my Bilkis Upper marriage broke up was that she was too fat. My parents tried to marry her from the age of seventeen. No one could like her for her extra heavy body. I have been watching you since the time when girls are accustomed to colorful dreams about life - I am busy with how to reduce my health. There are only two loaves of bread and vegetables in my diet. But his health did not decline. At one point, I got up and realized all the dreams, the destiny that he had taken to get the book by watering down Akaksa. Setuku may have forgotten that even a small fortune had to be engraved along the middle of the forehead of the one to whom Bidhata had donated a huge body. As much as we complained about him to Bidhata, I didn't see Bilkis complain about the upper point amount.

This is the difference between me and Apar. The most visible difference is - the fatter the mother, the thinner I am. Bones can be counted by looking at the wrists. People say that all my food is eaten by my mother. However, I have to eat more to gain weight. But I did not gain weight.

My mother suddenly shook my shoulder and said- why aren't you getting a little fat. Like Bilkis, my life will burn with you. If you don't worry about me, you won't have peace?

I was surprised. I looked at my mother's face like a fool for a while and asked- I used to listen to her thinking about her heavy health for so long. I don't like the girl with such a fat body. Why would you worry about me, mother?

Mother did not answer. Just went away with tears of responsibility. After a while I went out and saw that Apa had finished her work in the kitchen and was looking at my face bored. Pretending not to see the twinkling of my eyes, Apa asked - It's getting late. Rice? Aren't you hungry?

I remembered that you didn't eat all day today. Without answering, I asked a counter question - you yourself have not eaten yet. Why don't you eat without worrying about me?

Apa stared at me for a few moments. As if there is a lot of talk in those eyes. But it will never be published. My mother came out of the house hearing my unnecessary screams. Once on the upper side, another time he looked at me and stopped to say something. Then he quietly turned his attention to the housework. Nowadays I can't understand the people of this house. Everyone seems to be living with a suppressed pride. Even today I could not understand Setuku who is so proud.

I am sitting in a chair in my room with my head on the table. At that time Rakib called. It's been six months, he's got a job. Now he wants to get married. But if Bilkis Upper doesn't get married, it seems selfish for me to get married. I am silent after receiving the call. Rakib said- what are you doing?

- Nothing. I am lying quietly.

- I told my mother. I want to go to your house. Let your father know as soon as you can. My family shouldn't ask any questions. Got it?

- Got it.

- Do you understand, tell me a little listen?

- The father will have to call the starving people with the pension money and make them have a poor feast.

- What do you mean, poor feast?

- Your mother saw me herself. Everyone in your house knows me. You know me the most. Even then, I don't know what could have happened without Kangali coming to see the bride after organizing so much. I'm sorry, I lost my mind to think of something very good. I'm eating right. Hope to gain weight.

- I'm really surprised to hear these words on your face. It's crazy to want to be a lifelong parent like Bilkis Upper. Please, eat properly. If it's so thin, people will listen.

I cut off Rakib's call and hung up the phone. I understand that I have heard two harsh words from the boy. Maybe my head isn't right. Illness has taken root in the head. But I have a headache. But the mental illness of the people, he is looking for how many! Where a quality girl like Bilkis Apar is not evaluated, where am I! When I have to listen to Rakib about my health, even though I am a person with the exact opposite characteristics, I will surely spend my life listening to such harsh words!

I am looking up holding the veil in my hand with a lot of fear and apprehension. I really don't know why I'm here. I haven't noticed how long I've been standing like that. Suddenly someone from the side of the door said - it will not be through. There is a good rope under the drawer, I can try with it.

Startled, I looked back at the door. Bilkis Apa. She is looking at me with calm eyes. I went to commit suicide! But why didn't I have that feeling for so long? People understand that this is how they lose control over themselves and become helpless! And sister? Has he tried to remove himself many times? But in the end, every time he failed, he gave up. Rope under the drawer. I don't know, he didn't try anything else.

Apa came forward to me. Right in front of me. I couldn't hold myself back anymore. I cried and hugged him. The cry is not for me, but for Upper. For the weight of the stones deposited inside it.

Wiping my eyes, Apa started saying- there was no end to people's worries for my health. And today people are worried about your health. In fact, the problem is not in our body, Ray is crazy. The problem is in our mind. In our mentality. Don't be upset by thinking so much for me now.

The human mind is very fragile. Why does it break like glass in a short time? Rakib's Oituku words are in trouble? There is still something to be seen in life. There is contentment in the midst of suffering. I am enjoying it with great satisfaction.

I looked up and looked up. What a deep calm vision! There is no anger, no arrogance, no tears, no grief. But some perception is just swelling like tidal water. There is a clear sign of a breakdown. I do not have the ability to understand it. Maybe no one in the world has that ability.