My noise.cash experience

May 3, 2021 Monday

I honestly don't know how to start an article anymore. Like a freewriting article. I think I got that writer's block that is not going away. I don't know why. Oh well, let me atleast try something anyway.

I didn't plan to make an article this morning. I just slept last night at 10 pm and woke up at 3:45 a.m. with a sore throat. I tried to remember what I drank last night that gave me this sore throat. Then I remembered, I drank camomile tea before going to bed and didn't drink any water after that. So that is why.

After realizing that, I checked my noise.cash account and see how is it going. I didn't see much noise so I checked my wallet. I know I slept with around $2.82+ pending on my wallet. I was hoping to end the day getting $3.00 minimum payout at least but it didn't happen.

I was disappointed with myself and then a lot of things came to my mind as to why I got disappointed. At first, I question myself, am I doing something wrong? Am I not making good contents? Am I not worthy? After that, I question other people. Why are they like this, why are they like that. Then, I question the circumstances. I honestly did not get any answer until I realized something just now.

I realized something about yesterday which is a sort of an experiment for myself.

What did I do the other day that I did or didn't do yesterday? What did I think the other day that I wasn't thinking yesterday?

The other day, I set my goal at $2.00 only. I think or I thought I had reached it before midnight. But when I went back, it was already past midnight when I reached it but I was just okay with it. I didn't feel any disappointments at all. I was actually proud that I got $2.00 by posting the things I like to post. I didn't even bother checking my wallet and pending tips. I think I only checked it once or twice to check if my bitcoin address is correct. I didn't feel tired or exhausted.

Then yesterday, I set my goal at $3.00 just added a dollar to my previous goal. I kept on checking if I already reached my goal in noise.cash and I didn't while I'm seeing people achieving their goal and even surpasses them. This is what disappoints me. I counted the number of posts I made. I made more or less 20 post mostly with photos taken by myself. Then, some of those I got from my share from the free tips I'm giving to others. Some came from the hearts I received on my posts and comments.

Here is my conclusion.

I lost focus and purpose. I lost the feeling of being contented with what I have and what I can get. I've put too much expectation from other people which was not met. And I let envy and greediness inside my head that is why I feel so tired and exhausted and disappointed with everything.

I lost focus and purpose. My focus in noise.cash is to make good contents and let them do the work. But my focus from making good contents shifted to getting more tips. My purpose is to inspire people with my content and hopefully it would give a smile to their faces. I lost those two that I'm planning to re-focus on just doing a good content. I want to feel again the contentment of just being able to share my thoughts and not expecting anything in return.

I've put too much expectation from other people. I believe in the saying that give and you shall receive. I was expecting so much from other people to give me more. I was expecting that they will give more since maybe they are getting more based from their posts. But I was wrong. It is their hard earned money and it is not up to me if they are going to give me anything or not. So, my solution is, less expectations, less disappoinments but the best solution is, NO EXPECTATIONS, NO DISAPPOINTMENTS. If they give me something, then, thank you so much. If not, then, that's fine too.

I let envy and greediness inside my head. It's human nature to be envy and greedy. That is why it is a mortal sin. I feel envy whenever I see people posts reaching their goal and even surpasses them. Don't get me wrong. I am happy when people are achieving their goals. I am not that envious enough to not be happy for them. What I mean is that, I feel envy at least I think I hope I have those things they achieved too. Not that I would wish to take away theirs. I'm not that bad I think. Honestly, real talk. I often get envy. It's like the saying in Filipino language, "Mapapa-Sana All ka na lang talaga." It's a joke and I don't normally say it because if I always say it, it means I'm letting envy get inside my head. And I don't want that. Greediness got inside my head too. You know why? Because of the free tips. I feel like I need to give more percentage for myself just so I can reach my goal. I was thinking like, other people do it, so I should do it too. But honestly, I cannot blame it to other people. It is because I got greedy. I want to get more. That is why I felt disappointments because I still didn't reached my goal.

Lessons that I learned

I should refocus on doing good contents and not thinking of the tips that I am going to get. Always remember your purpose in joining is to inspire people and put a smile on their faces. Do not expect something in return. Just be contented and grateful for all the things that you are getting. Do not let envy and greediness in your head. It could ruin everything. Always think that every good deed has an equivalent point in heaven. And always bear in mind that good deeds rewarded here on earth will not be rewarded in heaven and good deeds that came unnoticed here on earth is rewarded in heaven. Always bear in mind that you may fail and continue failing but it doesn't matter how many times you fail, what matters are the times you get up everytime you fail.

Our Father in heaven sees that you might be struggling but know that in every struggle, there will be a helping hand that He will send. It maybe through friends or family or even a stranger. Nothing is impossible with God. You are not alone in this journey. You can still have a fresh start.

If you fail at Plan A, then go to Plan B which means start from the beginning.

❤️❤️❤️❤️