Hope in waiting

November 5, 2023

Sunday

Good evening Readers!

I just want to share something.

So me and my husband had a "talk" yesterday. It was about a family.

They are having issues within their family at the moment and he and his siblings and his mom are not in good terms at the moment.

We talk about how lucky they are for still having a mom at their age. As for me, my mom passed when I was 13 and it hurts a lot during those times. I think I wasn't molded well to be a good adult since I didn't have a mom during my teenage days.

Unlike them, they have a mom and until now it's their mom who helps them with their household chores, with advises, with problems and a lot more. Thought, their mom has challenges as well with being a mom. Not the perfect mother of course. Not the way they expected her to be.

So I had a thought about me wanting to be a better 'Christian' mother. Someone who bases how to take care of a child base on what the Bible says. Someone who does not provoke their child to sin but instead bring them up according to what the Lord wants them to be.

But sadly for me and my husband, we've been having problems conceiving a baby. We have been married for 2 years and is trying and it is so heartbreaking not being able to conceive one.

And I cried and cried because I was so hurt and worried of the future thinking if will we ever conceive a baby. It hurts as I feel like time is running out.

I am already 34 and in not really good body to ever be pregnant and it hurts. It hurts so bad.

My husband told me that we are going to have a check up with a doctor, he told me I should start dieting and I feel like he was blaming me but he isn't actually, he was just suggesting and because I was so hurt, I said things that I shouldn't have.

We've talked about adopting which he is not approved of. He said we could but maybe when we reached 50. We also talked about trying to have kids with a different partner which is not a very good thing to say. And I regret it, and I am so sorry for even thinking about the idea.

Then, I was reminded by a saying of one pastor. He said,

"While waiting for an Isaac, do not bore an Ishmael."

We know that Isaac, the son of Abraham was promised to him and Sarah. But Sarah has been impatient that she ask her handmaiden Rachel to sleep with Abraham and bear a child. And that child was Ishmael. Who is now were the Muslims started. Which is one of the people who persecutes Christians.

So, what does it means?

It means that we should trust in what God has promised us, and while we are waiting for it, we should not bore a sin.

We should not bore a sin that will only lead to our own destruction. We should not be impatient and we should wait.

While waiting, we should also have Hope in our hearts, hoping for Gods promise.

Yes, I was hurt and I believe that it us okay to be hurt, it is okay to question things, it is okay to wait and doubt, but never ever lose hope in God. Because once the hope is gone, then, you will be defeated.

Thank you so much for reading, Readers. I am so grateful that we have this platform where we can voice out what we want to say without thinking that people are going to judge you or condemn you. But either way, I believe that only God's opinion matters.

Have a blessed week everyone! 🙏🙏❤️❤️