A family is something that you go home too during holiday seasons like Christmas and New Year. It is something that you hold on to to keep moving on with life. Sometimes, your family is your inspiration to do better with your job, hobbies or passion.
When I was young, I thought a family consists of a mother, a father and siblings. I considered myself having a broken family when my mom died when I was 13 and dad remarried when I was 15. Having a stepmom is never easy for me. A family is supposed to be your safe haven. But whenever I go home to our house, I feel stressed. Then, I found my friends in college. They are the ones who I go to when things are not good at our house.
When I was 19, I left home. I spent a week living with my friends family. They were a complete and happy family I can say and I was so grateful that they welcomed me to their home. I can remember my friends father even gave me 500 pesos when I have to leave and go home to Bicol. He thought that I might need it. He even sent me off to the airport.
I went back to Bicol where I was born. I lived with my cousin and niece and nephews. I thought that I can be part of that family. But as time went by, I felt I was alone. I felt I was alone and that feeling remained for 2 years. I just felt that I wasn't alone anymore when 2 of my siblings came back to bicol.
I was okay then. Until this past few weeks, I suddenly felt the same feeling when I was 19. I feel like I am again alone. I feel like this family is falling apart. And my heart is breaking again and again. I am going to sleep with a heavy heart and hopefully no longer when I wake up.
You doing okay?