Regardless of the type of behavior, it is not acceptable if it is done out of sheer jealousy. "If he or she is checking your cell phone, accusing you of cheating on him or flirting with other people, or if he demands to know where you are every minute, it's time to have a serious conversation about what you really are.
Othello syndrome is a delusion in which the person who suffers from it is firmly convinced that his partner is unfaithful to him.
"The person is obsessed with the idea of infidelity and shows a series of behaviors that are manifested by trying to look for evidence to prove it, for example, by entering the computer or looking at the mobile phone of her partner. She can
"When it comes to the extreme of homicide, there is another type of underlying pathological personality such as paranoia or a celotypical delusion. When there is a delusion it is an irreversible idea with a series of responses to those ideas that are really serious," said the Argentine expert.
"Many times jealousy is fueled by influence," says Ghedin, "in Shakespeare's play Othello was influenced by Iago who put ideas of his wife's infidelity into him. Zealotypical subjects can be influenced by the opinions of other people. or media ".
The way to treat Othello syndrome is to look for the causes that cause it. Psychotherapy is essential and in extreme cases medication is recommended.
"There are patients in whom the idea of infidelity is so prevalent, so recurrent in their thinking that it alters relationships with other people. In these cases, a medication attenuates the intensity of the idea," explained Ghedin.
Different types of jealousy
But jealousy is not necessarily pathological.
According to Ghedin, they are part of the capital of emotions that every person has. They are considered symptoms of a psychiatric disorder only when they dominate the subject and significantly interfere with their relationship life and the rest of their occupations.
We can classify jealousy as:
Normal emotional reaction: it is transitory, it does not condition the life of the person or of others.
Excessive emotional reaction: especially affects love relationships. It is more common in women with different degrees of dependency. There may or may not have been previous situations of infidelity (whether personal, family or close friends). They are controlling and want the other to clear countless doubts that are never clarified.
Jealousy as a distinctive feature of the personality: they are distrustful, suspicious personalities that condition the life of the subject and the environment. They affect all areas: family relationships, love and work, among others. They are cold, calculating, they encounter threats where they do not exist and they are convinced that what they think is an indisputable "truth". It is called Paranoid Personality Disorder.
Othello syndrome: it is a delusional disorder with ideas of jealousy, also called celotype. They are ideas that catch the thought and convince the subject that the other is unfaithful. The delusional celotypic builds her delusion with irrational data and wastes time trying to find evidence to confirm her suspicions. Jealousy delusions can be part of chronic delusional disorder or paranoia, but we also observe it in the early stages of dementia due to involutive deterioration of the cerebral cortex and in chronic alcoholism.
It affects men more
Othello syndrome affects women and men but more the latter. According to the Argentine expert, the fundamental reason has psychological and cultural bases.
The real and symbolic attachment to the figure of the mother would act unconsciously, generating ambivalent feelings of love-hate towards other women.
Culture also imposes its rules: in these subjects the idea of power, domination and force over the female figure is prevailing.
They want women to submit to their rules and any autonomy behavior on their part is viewed as suspicious.
In Ghedin's opinion, whether it is the man or the woman who suffers from the disorder, the important thing is to seek help before the syndrome takes hold and relationships between the couple deteriorate.
1. You want your partner just for you
It may seem romantic and passionate that you want to spend every minute of your life with just that special someone, especially when the relationship is just beginning, but that kind of intense isolation is worrying.
Keep in mind that unhealthy jealousy is rarely interpreted as unhealthy at first; they usually seem like passionate, interesting, and love-driven acts (you need the other person, and you love them so much that you just want all of him / her at all times) ... and although this may seem cute at first, it is not at all pleasant in the long run.
Jealous people generally say phrases that, if you analyze them more closely, have a halo of cellopathy:
"No one can appreciate you the way I do."
"You're amazing and everyone would want to be with you, so I can't bear to share you."
"If we are a couple we must always share, for that we are together."
These affirmations may sound pleasant and even flattering, but the underlying insecurity and the attempt to control them should not be the basis of lasting love.
Missing and wanting more time together is okay; insist and demand that you spend more time with the other person, no.
2. You always suspect the worst in your partner
If your partner comes home later than usual, talks to you about a new friend you don't know or spends more time than usual checking his / her cell phone, are you immediately suspicious of him / her and their surroundings? If the answer is yes, then there is a problem.
Or maybe you don't do any of that, but you do set up a real interrogation when your partner comes back from a party with friends. Yes, it is okay to take an interest and worry about his / her activities, but a casual interest is not the same as an uncontrollable need to know every detail about your personal time.
shutterstock-433992586.jpg
3. You are too emotionally dependent
"The sign that can reveal extreme jealousy is emotional dependence," explains Salama Marine, a psychologist and expert in couples therapy. In this case, emotional dependence means that one of the members wants the other only for himself. "Even if he or she is unhappy in the relationship, he or she feels that it is too risky to be alone and is afraid of the unknown," says Marine.
If this situation seems familiar to you, be careful because you could be living clear episodes of unhealthy jealousy. "Your value does not depend on the presence of your partner," says the expert.
4. You disapprove of the likes and interests of your partner
Imagine that your partner is a horror movie lover. He likes to buy the DVDs of each film of that genre and participates in different related activities, but oh surprise! From one day to the next you start to hate horror movies. It even seems ridiculous to you ... and you constantly communicate it to your partner.
What happened here? The psychotherapist Michele Paiva explains it like this:
"It is highly threatening for them [cellopaths] not to have the same hobby and the fact that the other learns more or is happy without him / her; and if they have the same hobby, they may even see you as competition."
In other words, someone not allowing you to be yourself or grow in various fields is another way of showing jealousy.
5. You want to be 100% in control
You undoubtedly know that you suffer from unhealthy jealousy when you try to control your partner's life, explains Jennifer Rhodes, Ph.D. in psychology: "Jealousy can cause people to behave in a controlling, scary way."
Regardless of the type of behavior, it is not acceptable if it is done out of sheer jealousy. "If he or she is checking your cell phone, accusing you of cheating on him or flirting with other people, or demanding to know where you are every minute, it's time to have a serious conversation about what's really going on," says Rhodes.
In this sense, it is advisable to address these types of issues as soon as possible in order to eradicate any type of unwanted pattern in the relationship.
6. You want me to act a certain way
You can also move into the realm of unhealthy jealousy when you demand a certain type of behavior from your partner.
Answer the following questions with a "yes" or "no":
Do you expect your partner to do or not do certain things according to your own wishes?
Do you feel that controlling your partner's actions is justified?
Do you feel that your partner avoids saying something about it to avoid an argument or even a violent reaction from you?
A "yes" to any of these questions means you are on unhealthy ground. When you don't feel respected in your relationship for the choices you make and the actions you take, it's time to make changes and take control of your life and your autonomy again.
Unhealthy jealousy: 9 signs that give you away
<strong> Article reviewed </strong> by the
Article reviewed by the Committee of Psicologosonline.cl
Celopathy is not caused by the behavior of your partner, but by the low self-esteem of the person who suffers it.
19 JUL 2017 · Reading: 6 min. Jealousy
Image: Shutterstock.
Jealousy is usually seen as a negative emotion, although it can be normal in certain situations. According to clinical psychologist Anne Stirtling Hasting, author of the book America's Sexual Crisis, if you are in a monogamous relationship, jealousy works as a way of informing your partner that you care about preserving your relationship, having an enriching component if both members of the couple are honest about their feelings.
The problem occurs when jealousy manifests itself in the form of an obsession, takes over your life and generates irrational behavior in you or your partner, which leads to a total wear and tear on the relationship, even making it fail completely.
Here are 9 typical signs of people who suffer from unhealthy jealousy:
1. You want your partner just for you
It may seem romantic and passionate that you want to spend every minute of your life with just that special someone, especially when the relationship is just beginning, but that kind of intense isolation is worrying.
Keep in mind that unhealthy jealousy is rarely interpreted as unhealthy at first; they usually seem like passionate, interesting, and love-driven acts (you need the other person, and you love them so much that you just want all of him / her at all times) ... and although this may seem cute at first, it is not at all pleasant in the long run.
Jealous people generally say phrases that, if you analyze them more closely, have a halo of cellopathy:
"No one can appreciate you the way I do."
"You're amazing and everyone would want to be with you, so I can't bear to share you."
"If we are a couple we must always share, for that we are together."
These affirmations may sound pleasant and even flattering, but the underlying insecurity and the attempt to control them should not be the basis of lasting love.
Missing and wanting more time together is okay; insist and demand that you spend more time with the other person, no.
2. You always suspect the worst in your partner
If your partner comes home later than usual, talks to you about a new friend you don't know or spends more time than usual checking his / her cell phone, are you immediately suspicious of him / her and their surroundings? If the answer is yes, then there is a problem.
Or maybe you don't do any of that, but you do set up a real interrogation when your partner comes back from a party with friends. Yes, it is okay to take an interest and worry about his / her activities, but a casual interest is not the same as an uncontrollable need to know every detail about your personal time.
shutterstock-433992586.jpg
3. You are too emotionally dependent
"The sign that can reveal extreme jealousy is emotional dependence," explains Salama Marine, a psychologist and expert in couples therapy. In this case, emotional dependence means that one of the members wants the other only for himself. "Even if he or she is unhappy in the relationship, he or she feels that it is too risky to be alone and is afraid of the unknown," says Marine.
If this situation seems familiar to you, be careful because you could be living clear episodes of unhealthy jealousy. "Your value does not depend on the presence of your partner," says the expert.
4. You disapprove of the likes and interests of your partner
Imagine that your partner is a horror movie lover. He likes to buy the DVDs of each film of that genre and participates in different related activities, but oh surprise! From one day to the next you start to hate horror movies. It even seems ridiculous to you ... and you constantly communicate it to your partner.
What happened here? The psychotherapist Michele Paiva explains it like this:
"It is highly threatening for them [cellopaths] not to have the same hobby and the fact that the other learns more or is happy without him / her; and if they have the same hobby, they may even see you as competition."
In other words, someone not allowing you to be yourself or grow in various fields is another way of showing jealousy.
5. You want to be 100% in control
You undoubtedly know that you suffer from unhealthy jealousy when you try to control your partner's life, explains Jennifer Rhodes, Ph.D. in psychology: "Jealousy can cause people to behave in a controlling, scary way."