All about love and hate

People very often connect love and hate, they say that they are two people with the same feelings and that love very easily turns into hatred. As these are two completely opposite, mutually exclusive feelings, it is worth shedding light on their nature and mutual relationship.

Love is the feeling that someone feels towards a person who is emotionally important to him in a very positive way. Love is a relationship with another person as a whole human being that is assessed as very positive and valuable. That is why the one who loves is emotionally attached to the loved one, wanting to be in a permanent relationship with him. Love is an example of the friendliest possible relationship.

A change of positive performance

People feel hatred towards someone who is emotionally important to them in a very negative way. More precisely, he hates the one who is assessed as an evil man. That is why hatred motivates either to avoid a hated person or to seek revenge - to be socially, emotionally or physically destroyed. Hate is an example of the most hostile relationship possible.

Why does someone who loved a person start to hate that same person? From the outside, it looks as if love has been transformed into hatred. However, the real reason is that he changed his perception of a given person from very positive to the most negative possible. Then people declare: I thought the other was good, but I realized that he was a very corrupt person, who took advantage of me and rejected me.

The two main reasons why a hatred relationship develops after love relationships and marriages are betrayal and rejection. The rule is that the one who hates himself experiences himself as a victim of his ex-partner. The reasons they cite are infidelity, deception, long-term concealment of a parallel relationship, exploitation, ingratitude, ruthlessness and arrogance of the other side. Then you can hear: it ruined my life. The person is most hurt by the experience of injustice so that the one who was honest is the loser and the victim, and the one who was dishonest and corrupt is the winner. Based on that, many take the right to correct "injustice" and to vengefully ruin the life of a "corrupt" person.

As a rule, people are very sensitive to those situations when they estimate that someone when they considered them a friend did something to them that they consider an act of hostility. When someone who they consider an enemy does something threatening to them, it does not surprise them because it is expected. But when they judge that their friend is the one who did something hostile, it is a betrayal that especially affects them.

When ending love relationships and marriages, there is a difference between a breakup or a divorce and a rejection. In the first case, there is respect for the one who goes towards the one who was left behind, and in the second there is disrespect.

When a previous love affair or marriage has resulted in the birth of a common child or children, they too often become a tool for revenge and "punishing" the other party.

Internal conflicts

Love relationships can turn into hate relationships, and can hate relationships turn into love relationships? I can, but very rarely. What needs to happen is for a very negative image of a given person to become very positive.

When it comes to the relationship between love and hate, the question can be asked whether it is possible to feel love and hate towards the same person at the same time. That kind of internal conflict of a person who should have both the most positive and the most negative attitude towards the other is simply not possible. Personality is a system, and when there are so many opposing forces in one system, it is simply not able to function.

There are people who have the ability to show oscillations of both love and hate in the same relationship. This is the case with the so-called borderline disorders. At one point they may be very gentle in showing love, and at another they may react with strong contempt or hatred towards the same person, only to show love again afterwards. Emotional relationships with such personalities are chaotic. The reason for this functioning is that they are very sensitive, so that they perceive any criticism as rejection, as a partner's hatred, which is why they "defend" themselves with their counter-hatred.