The lead image by behaviorist
I am one of the most anti-hypocrisy people. What is hypocrisy? Many people have different definitions of this, but for me, the easiest definition is when the heart, reality, speech, and action do not go hand in hand. Sometimes there are those whose hearts and words are in line, but not with their actions. Sometimes the three things go in different directions, perhaps this is the highest form of hypocrisy.
I hate hypocrisy. Because hypocrisy kills humanity. Hypocrites are certainly not holy people hypocrites are creatures that are lower than animals. Hypocrisy will not lead a human to happiness. Hypocrisy will bring a burden to the soul because humans are born in good nature. When someone destroys that nature, of course, he will be swayed in a pretty torturous inner pressure.
However, the truth is, I always try not to be a hypocrite. But, it's too naive to admit that I'm not a hypocrite. Yes, I am a hypocritical human being. The struggle against hypocrisy is not easy. The Prophet Muhammad indeed SAW said that jihad against oneself is the toughest jihad. Therefore I am in the stage of fighting against myself to be far from hypocrisy.
I don't want to be a hypocrite. That's what I often tell my friends. But there is a question that pops up in my head, "Should we as humans not be hypocrites?" said the voice in the head. I thought hard to answer that question. In the end, I found an answer that seemed to satisfy my rationality at least temporarily. There are exceptions, as said by Iwan Fals, "A little hypocrite, don't be too honest, because honest people only exist in comics," said Iwan Fals' song lyric, Nak.
It feels like the lyrics are appropriate, especially if you read the whole lyrics that touch Iwan Fals. I think that exceptions to hypocrites are only appropriate in front of parents, angelic figures wrapped in human bodies. I did say this to my boyfriend when I said that I didn't want to be a hypocrite to please him. I have to be myself. I have to make a wide road that accommodates my heart, reality, words, and actions so that they can go hand in hand.
I just had a conversation with my mother in the middle of the capital's traffic jam on the inner-city toll road. In short, she hoped that I would get a job so that I could help the family's economic condition which was getting worse. This has been the subject of my thoughts since a few years ago, but I lack the motivation to work to earn money. “Money is the source of the problem,” I thought. I've been wanting to work for a long time, one of the things I'm interested in is writing and sending my writings to newspapers, magazines, or whatever that wants to accommodate my thoughts and is willing to exchange them for money.
But the desire was restrained. Yes, indeed I think too much because of that I feel that I am not talented to be an entrepreneur. I thought that if my motivation for writing was money, then one day I would be a slave to money. That's why I'm currently undoing it while hoping that my money orientation will decrease. I don't want to be a hypocrite, that's why I don't want to write because I want money. Because several times I said that I hate money.
I want to work with all my heart. Working wholeheartedly for me is when we enjoy the work we are doing. So, even though we are not rewarded with money, we are still happy. That way, we don't waste time being slaves to money. Because we only do the work we enjoy. If our work orientation is money, then even though we don't like the job, we will continue to work to earn money. How is it different from slave colonialism? Doing a job you don't like just to make a living.
I replied to my mother's wish according to my heart that I had just written. The same. My mother just smiled at my apology argument. Her smile contains thousands of meanings, from that faint smile I felt she said “You're still too young to understand life, son. Life is not as simple as you say," was the meaning of the curve of her lips that I understood. It seems that I'm too stubborn to remain hypocritical in front of her, even though I've previously concluded that the exception to being hypocritical is in front of parents.
We don't live alone. I'm too selfish. All this time I was too selfish because I only care about my pleasure. It feels like I've had enough to maintain my idealism at work. I have to work to make my mother happy. I once promised my late father that I would make my mother happy because all this time I had only been a spring of tears of sadness. From that conversation, I took the attitude that it was time for me to make money. I had to change the orientation from personal pleasure to parental happiness, no matter what. And money is one of the things that make my mother a little happy at least for now.
