What to do with a fixed pattern

“He who realizes his truth, not conditioned to believe, will smile in every cell of his being. It is contagious,” he said.
~ ignorance
Powerful insights are revealed when we realize how much our conditioned patterns interfere with our well-being.

Many of these patterns have plagued us for years, and they don't seem to stay fixed no matter what we try.

We've heard of the possibilities of freedom, but we don't know how to find a way to get there. Meanwhile, patterns continue to play in our minds, emotions, relationships, and choices in life.

First, it's important to understand that deeply embedded patterns usually take time to relax. You are expressing tremendous self-pity when you promise to work with them as much as possible whenever they arise. Because that's what you need to experience the peace and happiness you know.

The goal is not to eliminate these trends. So when they reappear - that doesn't mean you're doing something wrong. If played for a long period of time without much awareness, it will be very hardened. This means they have a strong momentum to keep going.

So what are your goals? As these patterns occur, they evoke conscious awareness and lead to understanding, wisdom, and love. Because this is what softens them.

Love of patterns? Yes, good read. These conditioned tendencies are not evil. Behind it is a sincere motivation to protect yourself and avoid suffering.

Do you smoke and want to quit? You are probably trying to find inner serenity. Do you feel like a victim? Maybe you are hiding painful feelings. Do you set barriers to intimacy in your relationship? You try to stay safe from the inside.

And, although complicated, even getting angry at someone is an attempt to make them feel at peace by stopping what they are doing.

As your yearning for true peace and happiness grows, you realize that these patterns don't work. They had helpful intentions when they came into existence a few years ago, but now is a sacred time ready to move beyond them.

Because you are much better than your pattern will tell you.

We sometimes don't know where to start. So today I want to share with you a framework for working with these sticky patterns called top-down and bottom-up.

top down
Top-down means recognizing behaviors that aren't working for you and trying to change them.

Imagine you are acting as if you are not locked into this particular pattern. What would that person do? How would they feel on the inside? What do they think?

Enjoy the possibility of breaking free from the limited reality of patterns.

I assume you are free from this pattern. What would you do differently at any given moment? Take time for this reflection and be as specific as possible.

Then experiment with implementing your newly discovered insights. Breathe in and open your mind to the experience of the present moment (not the reality in your head). Look into the eyes of a loved one before responding. Consider yourself as a whole. (This is what I'm working on.)

Then embrace how these new ways feel in your body. Because they will feel different. This is what happens when deeply held patterns start to move.

bottom-up
It is bottom-up as well as top-down. And here's an invitation to be very kind to yourself, encountering any emotion that lies behind these patterns. Often you will find long-standing fears, hurt and sorrow, or a deep sense of lack.

Ignoring these emotions will continue to fuel the pattern. When you turn to them with loving attention, they start getting what they need. They calm down and soften. The nervous system begins to relax.

Then, when you combine it with new behaviors that you practice without the fuel of your unexplored emotions, especially top-to-bottom, you start to experience, surprisingly, that these patterns don't need to define you.

In my experience, it seems that an inner revolution is starting to happen. I had a feeling for a long time, and the pieces within it began to move. I feel unfamiliar with my body. I'm in a space where I don't know what to do without that old identity, and it's so fresh!

There is extension and lightness throughout my being.

Perhaps you have felt like a victim of a pattern for a long time. And here is the truth. Your experience with them may change. Try top to bottom and bottom to top. You are creating fertile soil for an inner revolution.