Social Awareness or (understanding others) is a component of our emotional intelligence
Hello,
Social Awareness is our ability to recognize and understand the emotions of others.
First of all, if we are well advanced in the recognition and understanding of our own emotions, it is easier to identify them in others. But also, it is that to be able to understand the other one it is necessary to have already a good conscience of ourselves. Otherwise we know unconsciously that we risk losing our boundaries, losing our identity and to protect ourselves, we will not open up to the other.
If you wish to develop your understanding of others, here are some guidelines for reflection and action:
A_ First, be curious, observe, listen: Curiosity is sometimes a beautiful quality, so be curious to observe others, decipher their emotions and try to understand them! The most effective way is to observe the non-verbal, so you don't even need to hear what the person is saying: you sit on a café terrace, you watch people pass by, talking and you try to decipher the emotions at play. This is a good excuse to go and have a coffee on the terrace.
At the same time, you can read books on psychology, communication, or take a training course to develop your theoretical knowledge.
B_ Secondly, it is about taking a real interest in the other person: Being there 100% in the relationship, really listening, not so easy... This means first avoiding distractions, not doing 2 things at once. A good test is the children. They notice right away if you talk to them while thinking about something else: they become sad or irritated, and come back to you. This also happens to us when the other person is distracted. But when it's us, we forget... So it requires discipline... So are you ready to listen to your children, your spouse or your colleagues for real?
To motivate yourself: as it has been proven that multitasking is less efficient than monotasking, by being 100% in the relationship, you should gain not only in understanding the other person, in relational quality, but also in efficiency. This also requires you to silence your inner speech. Steven Covey asks a rather ironic question in one of his books: "Don't you notice that while your interlocutors are talking to you, you often prepare your answer, instead of listening to them?"...Frankly, it happens to me several times lol...
Listening to the end of what my interlocutor wants to tell me: One of the advantages of Germanic languages is that the verb is often placed at the end of the sentences, so you have to listen to the interlocutor until the end to understand his message and then prepare your answer! But in most other languages, this is not the case.
C_ Then clarify the situation, ask questions, in particular to avoid mind reading: You have the impression that your interlocutor is in a bad mood and you wonder if it is because of you? Before becoming paranoid, you can validate or correct your hypothesis, for example by rephrasing: "I have the impression that you are in a bad mood, am I wrong? Do I have something to do with it?" Yes sometimes you will act as a lightning rod for frustrations where you had nothing to do with it. But if it does the person good and allows you to start again in a calmer way in your discussion, it can be useful...It requires self-control and courage, but what conflicts avoided!
D_ Finally, last point, widen our points of view: There is a very well known technique in NLP, "the perceptual positions" or the "game of chairs" where we alternate points of view: first mine, then that of the other (who is absent but symbolically represented), finally in dissociated i.e. observer position...It is the 2nd position, that of the other that interests us here and if you wish to develop your understanding of the other, for example a person with whom communication is difficult, try this "game of chairs" :
You place a chair in front of you that represents the position of the other person. I remind you, it is virtual, the other is not there.
Sitting on chair 1, yours, you tell your version of the story to chair 2, that is to say to the other, and you clarify your intention and your objective in the matter.
Then you stand up and go to chair 2, yes you become the other person, and you imagine the situation through his eyes, and you now address chair 1 who represents you. In the position of the other person, you tell your side of the story, you clarify your intention and your goal...And you can alternate positions several times to discuss, in short, play with your chairs!
So are you motivated to develop your social awareness? It's an exciting topic...and one that will then allow you to improve your communication and relationship management.
Thank you for reading.
See you soon in a future article. Peace, mercy and blessings of God be upon you.