Loss and the lesson of detachment
As we go through life, we live a set of experiences where we gain or lose something. It is a way of maintaining the balance of energy between what we receive and what we let go of. In Eastern culture, there is a hierarchy of essential things in a person's life such as values and beliefs, loved ones, respect for nature and living things, and ultimately material things.
Why do I start my post with this paragraph? Because while it is true that fear of loss is in human nature, it manifests itself in people in different ways according to their beliefs and culture, a fundamental aspect also when it comes to overcoming them.
At home from a very young age, I learned detachment from material things, places and lifestyles. Because of my father's job, we traveled a lot, which meant that we moved frequently. So today I could live in an apartment and the next year in a big house with a huge yard. Dealing with changes in countries, cultures, climates, and study methods was easy thanks to my mother. She always said that life is in constant movement, and so adapting to new experiences is the best way to take advantage of them. It was a way to lose the fear of the unknown.
Every time we served our time in a place, I knew something new was coming, and I wasn't afraid to let go of my routine or classmates. This awareness that my time was limited made me enjoy what I had to the fullest, and then I would close that chapter to embark on a new one. I was never afraid of losing a job, friends, or status, as I knew I had the ability and the tools to start from scratch. This awareness of my abilities to restart made me happy.
However, I had never faced the physical loss of a loved one. I believed I had the tools to overcome it, but I did not. When my mother passed away, I suffered for many years in her absence. I could not cope with such intense pain. I thought I would get caught up in these feelings of sadness, anguish, and depression. It had fear and anxiety of unexpectedly losing other loved ones. It was a vicious cycle of fear of losing loved ones that awakened in me other fears that fed back on each other.
One day I realized that this state of sadness had led me to take refuge in long working days for not to think, not to feel. this has affected my health with the consequences of perhaps losing my life. It was at that moment that I began to work on understanding several things:
Everything has a beginning, and everything has an end. It applies to our physical existence.
Some people may be with us for a short or longer time, but someday they will leave our side.
Time is a subjective factor for each person, so we must make the most of it with valuable experiences and expressions of affection.
Our loved ones share life's journey with us, but they are not the center of it.
The people who are part of our life come to us to form a symbiosis of learning. Once they have completed their task, they go on their way.
Transcending from the physical to the spiritual plane requires that we let go of everything along the way until only our essence remains.
When I reflected on all these aspects of the time I shared with my mother, I had peace and tranquility. Her physical departure taught me to enjoy every minute with those I love knowing that our time together is limited. The greatest legacy I can leave to my loved ones is to give the best of myself in every moment as if there is no tomorrow. I do the same with them. I take the best from the ones I love. Knowing that we had happy times together is enough for me.
Slowing down my lifestyle allowed me to recognize the valuable things my mother left in me and those that I gave to her in the time we shared. Her time with me had ended, but leave lessons that I put into practice in my family that I formed when I married. Her legacy was stronger than her absence.
I still have lessons to learn to live detachment to the fullest. Every day, for me, is an opportunity for enriching experiences.
Nothing belongs to us. We are just a part of a whole!
Thanks for reading. See you in a future post!