Is this my reality?

-I always wanted to know why I live in these conditions, why do these kinds of things happen to me? What have I really missed? Why don't I enjoy some things that are good for me? These are questions that I have asked myself during my life since I was 15 years old. Only before, long before I knew what a computer really was, I only had a console; an Xbox Classic, in which I spent almost every day playing, until by accident, due to my fault, it was damaged in 2012. But what does it have to do with all this?

I try to find the meaning of my words but not being able to understand and manage to understand the meaning in each one of them, understanding is complicated; Getting complicated is even easier than understanding things, isn't it? Having peace in my mind is no longer something easy that can be achieved in these circumstances where I am treading. One day you just go from seeing a console to something much bigger than that, what the world sees every day through a screen.

I can not say that I am sorry about it, since I have learned both good things and bad things that are around the Internet, even fun I could add. Even so, I have to live with it and with this mind in which I try to understand the meanings of the new things I encounter: Stories, people, feelings, situations, empathy, pain. Music, another thing in which I also have to learn to live with it, listen to it every day, over and over again, but it's not boring at all; because you have in yourself new sensations, new emotions even if they are the same; but they feel different at the same time.

This has nothing to do with the drawing, but perhaps it represents something that many of us could simply understand, it is the dream. Exactly, a dream, are we really asleep or awake? Sometimes we say that "This is so false that it seems like a dream", and that is because we cannot find a way to differentiate between reality and the virtual. Nor can I assimilate that I have married so soon with the person I really love, I believed, no, I believed that I would never get married because of how the world is destroying itself every time: people mistrusting each other, friendships gradually fading, respect, everything is fading and many do not realize it.

This ring that I have, this engagement ring, for many does not have many meanings, but for me it is important to keep it and maintain it, because it represents what my heart and mind have accepted, something that many no longer do with the person they love. really love. Commitment. Everything that has happened to me so far, writing at the moment, drawing, and many other things that I could mention. I don't know if this is reality or not. If this isn't real, I don't know what is.