A Magnificent Indecision

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3 years ago

A small white organ was bought for me when I was probably 4 or 5 years old. After that little organ, I got a slightly larger organ, then a semi-professional organ, block flute, violin, side flute, melodica. I tried to steal them all. I have been interested in music since my childhood, but I did not receive any musical education, except for the violin course, which I left for a few weeks. I can play any melody that I hear for the first time with a melodica, flute or organ right now. I think that I somehow got the ear for music while playing with that first organ bought for me.

This is a nice skill, but it has its drawbacks. Instead of getting used to notes and recognizing an instrument, your brain sends a message to your fingers saying "hang out, play something". I experienced this during the violin course. Of course, just because I said I have a musical ear, do not think that I played these instruments flawlessly. Sometimes after hitting ten notes correctly, you hit the eleventh wrong and everything is ruined. You do not have the chance to make a mistake in music and when you play it by ear - if it is not a piece you play very often - you make a mistake.

My time is very limited to write this article so let me get to the main point quickly. I've been stuck with an instrument for several years: Clarinet. I am sick of the sound of this instrument. I often open and watch clarinet videos. But when I dreamed of taking it in my hand and stealing it, the keys on it always scared me. Music is not an instrument to be played with an ear, I said, I thought that training should be taken. Two days ago, when I was meeting with the clarinettist of the orchestra who was going to play at my brother's wedding, I told him that I wanted to buy a clarinet and asked for advice. He told me that a clarinet course would be opened in the district where I lived recently and that the instructors in that course could give me a suitable clarinet recommendation and directed me to an association.

I went to the association, I asked when the course will start, they said this is Sunday. 2 days later. This a little disappointed me. I was not prepared, I did not have a clarinet. I did not know. The friend at the association said I will give you my clarinet for the first lesson, but I cannot put the instrument someone else is playing. I did not mind.

I have other jobs, hobbies. While I can't even spare time for them, the thought of going to a clarinet class on a Sunday with my family lights up the red light in my head. There were at least 10 people on the course. Now I have to buy a clarinet for at least 1500 liras. After doing all this, there is a possibility that I put the clarinet aside and stop playing. We will probably have gone abroad for a few months.

I have 15 minutes to decide and now the pointer is right in the middle.

However, the opportunity came to me to learn the clarinet I dreamed of and passed out with its voice, and maybe improve myself after the course (even if I went for a short time). I am a man who closes my eyes and enjoys the sounds made even when playing plastic melodica. How beautiful I will feel if I play the clarinet. I don't know, Altan. I am still wearing my pajamas now, I haven't had breakfast, there are 28 minutes before the course starts and I don't know. It's easy to say I'm not coming, but why? One and a half hours on a Sunday is too much? If I go and leave for a while? I'm experiencing a tremendous indecision.

Maybe I should just listen. But why should I just listen when I can play? Are you aware? I am actually writing this article to myself. I don't remember any other event where I experienced the indecision so clearly. Now is the time to choose one side. Let me think a little while walking around the house.

I give up. Yes, I guess it should have been like this, I gave up. There is only one minute before the course starts, everyone has gathered now. But I do not regret it! For example, I bought a drone, I do not fly out, I bought a camera, I do not go out and take photos. I guess I have an appetite for a monkey.

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