An Unposted Letter

It's really hard to get you out of my head. We don’t talk now probably for the good or should I say "I" don’t talk to you? I remember those days and I laugh at myself. The things I used to do in front of you were so different. Well, I see people changing their behavior in front of other people and I laugh because I know what are they doing, you gave me some experience. I wanted to hate you, I wanted to get drunk and abuse you in front of my friends when they bring up this topic, but unfortunately, I cannot say a single bad word about you even though I wanted to do that, you should have given me lots and lots of reasons to hate you so that I can be like normal people who talk shit about girls who refuses them or just wanted to be their friend or their ex. Probably one day I will delete your photos and will try to forget you and will not scroll through your photos whenever I will be alone (one day) I will do that but today is not that day. I am reading a book named "unposted letters" it feels like one of those letters, the only difference will be that no one except me is going to read it. You know I am writing this because I wanted to share things but I got no one to do that, so I write down so many things and my emotions and I delete them every time. before this good laptop, I used to write on a piece of paper and used to burn it, now I feel like I'm a modern boy while I am writing this. When we started talking we share so many similarities that makes me like you more and I thought I got the right person to share my emotions with because you were such a good listener, I thought I don’t have to write it on paper and burn it or through it in the trash, but as in most of the cases my expectation did not meet the reality, and now we don’t even talk anymore. I respect your decision and will always do it because you are too good for a guy like me and whatever the reasons you have.